control || beth x benny

𝟑𝟐. Neither do you

「 𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚎 

𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍, 𝚗𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 」

25th November

As the dawn came, Beth started opening her eyes slowly cursing herself for being awake. The first thing she sensed after a slight dizziness was a pair of familiar arms, protecting her body. The leather fabric against her skin warmed her all night and even knowing who the owner of that jacket was, she drove her eyes up, staring at him.

His senses were keenest than the usual. Spending the whole night without resting his brain, always gave him a stimulation. After feeling her moving subtly, his attention was directed to her. Their eyes collided and Benny remained in silence, afraid of saying something wrong.

Beth kept in silence, observing him. Her heart was fragile like he was been a victim of an aggressive pinprick. Seeing him remind her yesterday, how she lost against him and the day that all her beliefs shattered in front of her. The feeling of being lost, without any guidance fulfilled her body and the pain started to scratch in her heart. Involuntarily, she unlaced from his arms as her eyes observed the male facial expression, changing gradually.

"Did you sleep well?" Benny gained courage to break the walls while observing her getting up from the bed.

"Congratulations for yesterday." Beth answered after swallowing a cup of water.

"Thank you." Benny rose, snapping his neck.

"We can't be together anymore." Beth fixed her eyes in the drawer, observing the small drops of water.

"What?"

"I can't be with you. It was a mistake t-"

"Beth!" Benny grabbed her wrist.

For seconds, Beth could swear that he was actually worried about them, but it was too much to digest. She was in madly in love with him but also was ridiculously in love with idea of winning. She knew since the begging that if someday someone bailed on her, the chess would always be there for her. But, not anymore. Beth felt deeply hurt for losing in what she was good doing against her first love.

"This was a mistake, and you know that. We are too equal to make this thing work. We both love to win to be in a relation where in what we do one of us will always lose." Beth answered, denying looking at him. She was saying facts but for some reason, that wasn't helping her heart at all.

"Beth, calm down and let's talk."

"I'm calm and we are already talking, Benny. Thank you for everything but this was the last time."

"You're wrong. We are not the same."

"Aren't we?" Beth riposted ironically. "Last time I checked, you-"

"The last time you won, I didn't ditch you like you're doing with me."

"It's different."

"No, it's not Beth. You know it's not. Please, let's talk." Benny talked calmly, trying to hide his anxiety.

"Yes it is bec-"

"Beth, are you going to die next year?" Benny interrupted, turning her body to him.

"What?"

"Answer me."

"No, I'm not."

"Fine. Now, every year we have at least in America twenty-three tournaments and every year have this tournament too. Which means you'll have twenty-three chances to improve and learn without making the same mistakes before this one. So, tell me why are you being so stubborn about this one. You already won the last year and if everything goes well, you'll be able to play more thirty times to join the world championship."

"You're right but it hurts me losing this after winning in Russia. If you win, eventually you'll understand me Benny."

"It happens all the time Beth. You're not an expectation. There's plenty of players that won in one year and lost in another and some of them had victory streaks and still, they lost their spot. You can play again next year, you can win next year. The world isn't over. Losing doesn't need to be a bad thing at all."

"It's easy to say when you never felt it."

"I lost against you, remember?" Benny tried to keep patient, but his brain wasn't helping at all. "And ow look at me, after losing against you, after spending a year playing and improving, I beat you. Losing last year gave me the chance to improve and if you don't give up, you'll see that I'm right."

"I don't know anymore." Beth nodded with her head. "I don't know anything. You're talking like it was easy and maybe it is for you, but not for me. I'm not like you and you're not like me. You don't know me."

"Yes I know you Beth, please" Benny tried to reach her hand but she dodge it "I can assure you that you're the best chess player that we have and it's not a loss that will throw all of your work until today."

"Please, leave me alone. Go celebrate with your friends, with Leonor, with who you want but leave me. I don't wanna see you right now and I'm tired of talking. You made your point and I heard, right? Now, leave the room and close the door." Her voice was jittery just like her fingers. She wanted to cry, and it was her fault.

"Are you serious Beth?"

"Yes I am. Get out."

"Beth-"

"Get fucking out Watts." Beth finally yelled. Her heart raced and the cold fingers started to shake while a small burn was felt in her eyes.

Benny was in shook with her. He didn't know what to do. The ridiculousness took over his body: he couldn't find a single drop of happiness in his victory by seeing that girl so sad. He was always thirsty for the win but we couldn't relate with the way she was reacting over a loss. He didn't know why but the last thing he wanted was to leave her side, not only because she was a big friend of him, but she was the reason of his good temper. He never told her what was going in his mind, but Beth always worked as an appeasing substance to his brain.

"I'm sorry." Benny voice cracked and after reaching the doorknob, he waited. He was hopeful of hearing an 'Don't go' or 'Stay', but nothing like that went through her mouth.

"I don't deserve you and neither do you." Beth whispered after feeling her room getting cold.  

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Guys, here's a thing.

I was thinking about the next chapter and hm, i will let you choose because i love you and your choice won't change the ending so feel free to choose :)

Benny Watts POV or a bunch of entries in Beth's diary?