Will of the Many~ Poe Dameron

Detrimental

"What is more unfair than having to choose between being a monster or being a hero? 

(When you have to be both.)

When you learn that the road to hell is paved with more than just good intentions..."

-m.a.w

Sweat glued the tank top to her like a second layer of skin. Her drenched hair wrapped around her neck like a cherished necklace afraid to loosen. Her chest heaved with pained, shallow breaths that followed with agonizing wheezes that reminded her of the air flowing through her lungs that so many other people did not get- because of her.

The shadows formed around her, pooling over her legs and crawled up until they threatened to swallow her whole. She gripped the ratted sheets on either side of her as she reminded herself of her place with the Resistance. She was safe. She was gone. No one could hurt her now.

The shadows mocked her as they spiraled and sashayed around her. They brought with them a bone chilling cold that seemed to freeze the sweat as it poured from her. Goosebumps erupted over every inch of her body until she was made entirely of goose flesh and perspirant. 

She pulled in a long breath and held it as she kicked the tangled blankets from her legs. She sprung from her bed in a heap and grabbed her bag from the floor. She tried not to focus on the shadows twisting between her ankles as she ran from the dark room to the closed door of the sleeping quarters. 

With a single slap of a button the door pushed in. Light flooded the quarters and stole all the chilling shadows from around her. 

She released the breath and closed her eyes as she let the warm light engulf her in its gentle embrace. 

Someone groaned from behind her, but she barely paid them any mind as the aftershock trembled across her stiff muscles and fragile bones.

"Hmmm. Serena?" 

She stiffened as she recognized the lazy notes of Kaydel's voice. She gripped onto the doorframe as she turned halfway back to the dim room. 

"Go back to sleep," she whispered to her friend. "I'm going to shower and have a tea. Sleep." She propositioned and hoped it worked. She didn't have the energy to occupy her. 

Kaydel hummed once more, then rolled over til her back was to the open door. 

Serena let out a shaky breath as she stared longingly at her best friend. She was lucky. Sleep came to her so easily. There were no wars to plague her dreams. No death to haunt her shadows. No monsters waiting under her covers. 

Serena hoped it always stayed that way for her. 

But she knew how naïve the thought was the moment she had it. 

With a sigh she slipped from the sleeping quarter and closed the door to douse Kaydel and the others in darkness once more. 

She moved through the bright hall to get to the bathroom. It called out to her, beaconing her forward to chip away at the frozen sweat and still the tremors rocking through her, wave after wave after wave. 

A steady, low beating drum began to pound at the spot behind her right temple. It knocked against her skull, reminding her that she was in fact alive and well- though she wasn't sure how well off she truly was. 

When she was secured inside the bathroom with the shower set to the hottest setting she dropped her bag by the sink and looked warily at herself in the reflection. She was met with purple bags that hung lowly under her eyes, and dull, almost jaundice eyes that were adorned with small red veins leading from her iris to every edge of her eyes.