Will of the Many~ Poe Dameron

How far down do we travel, my dear?

Collapse into me. Just once. I promise you'll never have to fall again...

-Perry Poetry

Serena's head tilted as she stared at the way her gloves laid lifeless on her bed. The sheets were pulled back perfectly, smoothed out over the edges to keep it in pristine condition while she was away on her mission. But she couldn't leave yet... not when the gloves were still on her bed.

The palms of the gloves were facing her, showing off the creases where the leather had worn through and cracked. Each curve of her own hands was carved into the gloves. She had worn them so consistently that they were the perfect mirror of her actual hands. For so long she preferred them to her own hands... but as she stared at them she couldn't remember why.

Kaydel walked up to her side, looked at her face then down at the bag and gloves on her bed. "What are you doing?" She asked lightly.

"Do you know that I've never felt your hands before?" Serena looked up at her friend with dull eyes. "I don't know if your hands are smooth or rough-"

"I'd like to think they're smooth, but that's not really the point of this-"

"I don't know what the fabric of your shirt is-" Serena's eyes dipped down to Kaydel's uniform. "We've hugged and I have no idea how your shirt feels." She shrugged as she looked back up at Kaydel's confused face. "The gloves were part of a system meant to suppress me to fit their mold of someone careless and inhuman. But I'm neither of those things-" She looked back down at the gloves on the bed. "So why do I still wear them?" Her eyes narrowed to slits as she questioned the very existence of the gloves.

Kaydel hummed, but Serena could tell by the low harmony that she was still confused.

"So don't wear them." Kaydel suggested.

Serena let out a breath and sat on her bed next to the gloves. She picked the right glove up and turned it over to look at all parts of it. "But..." Serena felt the insecurity bubbling up inside along side the fear of the unknown. "What if I have to fight someone and I go to grab my lightsaber and I'm not use to the cold metal and it makes me hesitate?" Serena looked up at Kaydel for the answer. "I'm dead- or Poe's dead- or Chewie- or Finn." She answered for herself. "Or- or what if I do kill someone and I look down and there is blood dripping off my fingers..." She looked down at her pale, smooth hands. The gloves protected them from so many tragedies. "What if I look down and there is blood under my fingernails and my knuckles are bruised and all my sins are engraved in my hands..." She lost her voice as she tumbled head-first into her worst thoughts.

"Okay...." Kaydel quietly sat beside Serena so that their thighs touched and their arms nudged into one another. "So why don't you take baby steps? Hm?" She proposed as she bowed her head forward to catch Serena's questioning eyes. "When you're just being Serena, you don't wear them so you can feel all the things you've missed out on-" Kaydel reached over and laid her hand on top of Serena's as it held the glove. Serena took in a breath at the startling cold in Kaydel's palm. "But when you know you have to fight, put them back on so you can protect yourself from what's out there." She squeezed Serena's hand once before she pulled away. "It's a compromise."

Serena's lips tugged up at the word. "Compromise..." She thought of late night negotiating with Luke. She thought of all the extravagant scenarios he could come up with to try and fluster her. "Okay." She nodded as she looked up to see Kaydel's hazel eyes brimming with pride for her. It was startling to see such emotion all directed at her. "I'm going to miss you, Kaydel." She said it first this time.

Kaydel gave a wide grin as she wrapped her arms around Serena's shoulders and pulled her into her chest. Serena's shoulder dug into the center of Kaydel's chest and her arms were stuck awkwardly in front of her, making it nearly impossible for her to hug back. So instead she tilted her head to rest her temple against Kaydel's forehead.