What's Enough?

Chapter 134

12/31/2020 4:00pm

"Honey, are you okay?" my mother places her hand on my head.

I cough again, "I feel sick,"

"See, I told you. You should have been taking my car in the very beginning; it's too cold for you to be walking everywhere," she removes her hand and then looks at me.

My father appears at the door, "Honey, she faking,"

"No, I'm not," It's always him.

"Marcus," she groans. "She is really sick; look at her."

He looks at me and then back to her, "She's isn't sick," he repeats. "She just trying to get out of going to the Adams New Years Eve party," He walks into the room and says, "Jayda, if you don't want to go to the party, just say that,"

"If I say it, will I get to stay home?"

He replies, "No,"

"Well, then I'm sick," I turn over the opposite way and pull the cover over my head.

My mother sighs, "Jayda, you cannot just not go; you were invited, it's rude to not show up to function you were invited to,"

"If I'm sick, that doesn't make it rude,"

"But you're not sick," my father throws out.

The room goes silent; I know they are looking at me; I can't see them because the covers are covering my view.

"Fine, you had a long week. If you want to stay home, that is okay,"

Yes! She gave in, Thank God. There's no way I can show my face there tonight; everything that happened yesterday was just embarrassing, and I'm not ready to see Ryder. Even though technically, he doesn't know what happened.

They walk out of my room, closing the door. Soon as they are finished, I hop from my bed, go to my bathroom and run myself a bath.

After letting the tub fill up, I carefully step in the warm water and lean against the back. I breathe in, taking in the warm steam.

My phone dings; I grab it from the side of me.

*I miss you already- Grandpa

*I miss you too

Things at home are so dull without him—no one to laugh with or make inside jokes—no one to put my father in his place.

I haven't laughed once since he left. At least here at home, I haven't laughed.

The other day at Ryder's house, I laughed the whole time there. His sarcasm can be funny at times, and the way he takes video games too seriously.

I used to laugh with Caleb a lot, but things are not how they used to be for us. We don't laugh anymore; every time we talk or are around each other, everything is always so tense and on edge with us; I hate it, and I have no idea what to do.

I don't want to end things with him, but I don't think we will last long if things stay like this.

He's back from California; I saw his story on Instagram. Not on my page, on Blairs. This is what our relationship has come to; instead of me just calling and seeing if he was back, I'm stalking him from my friend's pages.

It wasn't my idea; it was Blairs. I felt weird doing it, but Blair assured me this is what girls do.

Maybe I should text him? Just to see if he is home.

I send Hey, are you back yet? As fast as my finger allows me to type. And then I place my phone down, hold my breath and sink into the water, allowing it to consume my naked body.