What's Enough?

Chapter 185

We listen as the substitute principal or whoever she is, gives us a final speech. I tell Ryder I will be right back and then get up, exiting the auditorium. I walk down to my left, heading towards the bathroom, but then I spot someone walking towards the doors. I realize who it is and then call her name, "Jess,"

She slowly turns around, and we meet in the middle right in front of the school's trophy cabinet. Out the corner of my eye, I see something is different. When I see what it is, my eyebrows raise; it used to hold all the team's game win trophies, but it isn't that anymore; the trophies are gone.

Overtop of the cabinet in bold letters, it says The Crawford, Cade, Brown Memorial.

I move closer to get a better look, "When did they do this?" A picture of Jessica, AJ, and Robert are sitting in frames inside next to each other. A rose is in front of each of their photos. There are also smaller photos of the children who died in the shooting. My eyes prick with tears when I see Violet's photo.

On the inside back wall, it says, Gone but will never be forgotten. We do better because of them; we do better for them.

"I don't know," she answers, "I just saw it myself,"

"It's beautiful," I couldn't have asked for anything more. It's the first thing you see when you come into the school; you won't be able to miss it. She takes a deep breath and steps back, "Where are you going?" I ask her.

"I have to go now," she says.

"What? You, you can't leave?" What does she mean she has to go?

"I have to go," she repeats.

"How can you leave? You're in my head,"

"Jayda, I am not in your head,"

I always knew she wasn't but, her saying it makes this moment even more unreal. "You can't leave, Jessica; we're going to college,"

"You're going to college," she corrects me. "In this life, I was just existing, not living; maybe in my next life, I'll get to live,"

"I don't want you to go,"

"I'm already gone. I'm dead, and I am never coming back; you have to let me go, I am ready to go,"

"I can't do this without you," I can't; who am I going to talk to when no one is there? How am I supposed to handle every other crazy thing that will come in my life without her?

"Yes, you can Jayda," she places her hands on both of my shoulders. "You are brave, and you're strong, and your fucking amazing; you can do this without me; you can do this without anyone because you're you. Jayda King, savior of broken souls," We both laugh while tears leave our eyes. "You're you, and that's enough,"

"I'm gonna miss you," I tell her; I know I have to let her go. I love Jessica, and I want her to be at peace. Letting her go, finally accepting her death is how she will move on.

"I'm always with you," she touches her necklace that's around my neck.

Loud noises come from the auditorium; I'm guessing the ceremony is over. I wipe my tears, and so does she. "Well, I guess my job here is done," she kisses me on the cheek, "You got this,"

"Goodbye, Jessica,"

"Don't look so sad," she says in a cheerful tone. "Goodbye isn't forever; it just means... I'll miss you until we meet again,"

"Until we meet again," I say, assuring myself that we will indeed see each other again.

"When you start to miss me, just look up at the sky; I'll be waving,"