What's Enough?

Chapter 140

As always, the day has flown by in what seemed to be a matter of minutes. It's lunchtime; I'm in the library at the computer working on my essays for the list of colleges Ms.Rodriguez compiled for me. She provided ten colleges, but I'm only working on the first four today.

Howard University.

FAMU.

Cal State Los Angeles.

And the University of Georgia.

If I had to choose any of these, it would be Cal State Los Angeles, mostly because it's the cheapest, and since I am not using my parent's funds or my trust fund to pay for school, money will be tight for the first five years of my adulthood.

I'm okay with that; this surge of independence I am gaining is rejuvenating. I'm doing everything on my own by myself. Slowly I am accomplishing things and setting up my life; for the first time in forever, I am actually excited for the future.

The prompt I am working on is Overcoming a Life-Changing Obstacle.

You would think this would be easy for me, after everything I have ever been through, but it's not. I've been through too much; I don't even know where to begin.

Ryder POV

She takes me in, all the way with her mouth with her hands wrapped around me; "Fuck," I groan and then release into her mouth just like she likes it. I remove my hand from her head; she removes her mouth and wipes the corner.

"You feel better," Ashley asks while pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

I zip up my zipper, "Yeah," No, but at least it took my mind off Jayda for a few minutes. Sorta. The arousal moment I just experienced was not as good as it usually is. Every time I close my fucking eyes, I see her. Even when getting head, all I can picture is her; nothing I do erases her from my thoughts.

Especially after that kissed we shared a week ago, it was the most electrifying thing I ever felt in my entire life. I've kissed quite a few people, but I have never experienced anything like that before.

The sense of familiarity when her lips met mine like we have known each other in past lives. There's a memory in my head that, I know, never happened in this life, so I'm forced to believe it happened in the past. I just have no idea when.

"Earth to Ryder," The blonde girl waves her hand in my face. I break away from my thoughts and look at her, "Are you okay?"

"Like you care," I snarl.

"I do care, I care about you, Ryder,"

I stare at the girl I have known since we were kids and then look away, "Whatever," we were sitting out in the school's parking lot, it's lunch right now, but I didn't want to go because I didn't want to see Jayda. Obviously, she doesn't want to see me either after the events that happen this morning. She couldn't even look at me.

I'm an idiot for saying that shit to her. What the fuck was I thinking? I was hurt that she said she didn't love me back, yes. But I still shouldn't have said the shit I said. Her not loving me was understandable; she had no idea how I felt; I just sprung it on her. I said I would never hurt her with my words again, yet I did. Idiot.

"So for your return, we are going to have a party tonight at the dinner, at 6pm,"

"I'm okay," I hate parties; she knows this.

She frowns, "You have to come; it's for you!"

"I didn't ask for it,"

"Matt planned it,"