What's Enough?

Chapter 148

Jayda POV

"You are one hour away from your destination," the GPS says.

One hour, we are one hour away from finding the woman who will really have all the answers—the woman who could possibly turn this whole mess around.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask Ryder for the fifth time.

He replies, "Yes, I am sure!" irritated that I keep asking him the same thing. How can he be okay with taking his whole family down? It's his family. Blood. Surely, he is having doubts. What if they like, disown him or something? He's already lost so much.

"Is your hand okay?" It has to hurt; he broke a freaking mirror, a glass mirror, my hand hurts just from picking up the glass. My hands have tiny cuts on them.

"Yes," he answers blandly.

I look back out the window at the countryside scenery. The view is so calming; it makes me want to fall asleep, which I did five hours ago. I've been dozing off every now and then.

Ryder doesn't seem tired at all; maybe it's the music keeping him up. From the time we left the motel, all that he has played is a My Chemical Romance album, some The Fray songs, and Green Day.

Not going to lie; his music taste is impressive, surprisingly. My playlist music has pretty much the same songs; all he needs to add is some Panic at the Disco, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and some Paramore, then his playlist would be perfect. Oh wait, and The All-American Rejects. Can't forget about them.

Ryder has been pretty quiet this whole ride; I can only think his silence is because he is debating with himself if he should ruin his family, just for me.

Or maybe he's quiet because of the intimate moment we shared last night. Me on top of the dresser with him between my legs, our lips savoring every touch, like it was going to be our last. So much passion and aggression with his hands on my waist and my hands playing in his soft hair, tugging at it gently while pulling him closer and closer to me. I'm not sure we could have gotten any closer, but I tried, and so did he. I loved the way his tongue trailed down my neck and the way his teeth gently bite my skin as he was sucking on it.

When I went into the bathroom to change my clothes, I saw the red marks on my neck, which is saying something because I'm a dark brown female, yet I had red marks on my neck and waist.

I have always bruised easily, so it's not a surprise.

While kissing him, I couldn't shake the familiar feeling; it was like I was used to what we were doing like I have done it before. And I'm not saying it was familiar because I have done it before with other people, other people being one person...Caleb.

It was more like I have done that before with Ryder. We have never done anything like that before; the kiss against the car a few weeks ago felt the same way, and still, up until then, I had never kissed Ryder before.

It feels super weird but yet, super good at the same time.

He thinks I was kissing him to make him feel better, and yes, maybe I kissed him with that intention. But kissing him healed me in a way. The pain and hurt I felt evaporated, soon as my lips touched his. I would do anything to kiss him again, to feel the warmth of his body against mine.

I would do anything to relieve myself of this constant agonizing torture.

...

"Are you sure this is the place?"

I look back at my phone to reread the address Jessica sent. "Yeah," I just assumed it was a street, but it's not. It's a trailer park filled with about fifty RV's lined up in rows. "Let's Go,"