What's Enough?

Chapter 186

Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson

***

Two days later...

Taping up my last box, I look up out the window and watch my father put the rest of my boxes into the car. I can't believe I'm leaving. Well, only for two weeks, and then I'll be back, but that's only for the summer, and then I'll be gone for good. I'm starting over making a life for myself.

I place the tape on my desk, and then something under my bed catches my eye. It's a balled-up piece of paper. I open it up and then smile when I read the words that I thought to be a lie months ago.

JAYDA KING CAN BE SAVED

Yes, I can, and yes, I was.

I take the paper and slip it into my back pocket. Taking a mental note to get a frame. I grab my final box and head for the door, looking back on the room that I so easily could have died in once more.

This room holds the story of a girl with no hope, a broken girl being pulled here and there by fate, and others. I'm leaving this room, and I am leaving that girl behind and making my own life, my own future.

I walk down the stairs and out the door; my mother tells me to drive safely. My father tells me to not speed and call them when I arrive. They look like they're about to cry. "Why do you look so sad? I'm only going to be gone for two weeks," If they're acting like this now, I can only imagine how they will be when I'm gone for good.

"We are just happy," my mother answers.

"Ecstatic more like it, you choose your education over a boy," My father mentions. "I couldn't be more proud,"

"I didn't choose him over anything," I snap. I choose both. They don't respond. I tell them I'll see them soon and give them both hugs before getting into my car. In my rearview mirror, I watch them both wave goodbye to me.

I was hoping this drive would clear my head, but all I keep thinking and wondering about is if I am making the right decision. I feel like I am, but then I feel like I am not when I think of Ryder. He's going to be so hurt, I wanted to tell him the day I decided, but he just seemed so excited about LA and us being together; I didn't want to ruin his happiness.

I was ready to go with him; I was prepared to move to LA and go to school, start my relationship, and everything else with him. I was satisfied I was happy. I finally had figured everything out.

But of course, the universe ruined everything.

Just when we think we figured something out, the universe always throws us a curveball.

Maybe the universe or the writer of my story is just trying to show me that it's never too late to realize what you want in life, and it's never wrong to fight for it.

I'm wrong for lying to him, but I am not wrong for going after what I want. And I want to go to New York, I want to go to Columbia, I want to go to the journalism school.

I stop at the stop sign that's ten feet away from the Leaving Crossland PA sign. My foot eases off the gas pedal, and the car slows down, I become shaky, and the air in the car evaporates. This is a mistake; I can't do this, I can't do this by myself. What the hell was I thinking?

I reach into the open box beside me, trying to find my phone to call Ryder. While searching through the envelope falls out. It's the envelope Dale gave me back at the facility. He never told me when to open; he just said, I'll know when. I think this is the time; I need his wise words right about now.