What's Enough?

Chapter 124

I'm so glad I don't have to see this place again until 2021. It sounds like forever, but it's really like two and a half weeks. Who cares, though? It's winter break, and it was very much needed.

I grab my books and throw them into my bag; I continue searching my locker, making sure not to leave anything. Everyone around me has huge smiles and seems to be moving at full speed. I don't blame them; this break from school is well needed, especially after everything that has been going on around here.

Kids hug each other tightly, exchanging goodbyes, there acting as if we all don't live streets apart from each other.

They could possibly be leaving town for Christmas; that would explain the emotional goodbyes... the overly emotional goodbyes. It's never bothered me much that I didn't have many friends in high school.

It's mostly my fault, I know; I secluded myself for half of my freshman year; I started off strong, engaging in everything, joining everything I possibly could. Not really because I wanted to but because I didn't want to be home alone. At home, I felt like I wasn't wanted; I knew I wasn't wanted because no one was there. Being a part of things made me sorta feel accepted.

I'm okay with not having a close friend. A best friend. I thought Violet and James would be best friends. I considered them my best friends at one point in time, but now I don't; there were a few things that I overlooked because I wanted that high school friendship.

The one that's advertised to kids at a young age, so much so that when they grow up and get ready to start high school, they expect to automatically have this huge friend group that hangs out every week. Not to mention the lovey dovey relationship you're supposed to miraculously get in when you start high school.

Not going to lie, I was gullible, and I feel for it; I honestly thought those things would happen freshman year. I just knew I would get the boyfriend and the girl and boy bestfriend, join the student government, plan prom and functions, be the awkward but popular girl. But it didn't happen, at least not for me it didn't. My high school experience was nothing like how I imagined it to be.

Anyway, now that I'm on the journey of finding myself and figuring out who I am, I realize that Violet and James' personality just doesn't match mine... They gossip; I hate gossip. Not to mention they started to believe the rumors they heard about me, and I didn't forget that little stunt in the hallway when they completely ignored me. Even though I tried to forget it and look past it, I couldn't.

I wouldn't call them my friends. They're more like acquaintances. They're not bad people, so I have no problem talking to them here and there.

I walk into the bathroom; it takes me about fifteen minutes to change into my work clothes; I think that's the fastest I have changed all week. I gather my school clothes and stuff them into my bookbag, then walk out of the bathroom. When I get home, I'm considering asking my parents to make my therapy sessions maybe once a week instead of every other day. It's really draining to do that and work, along with the robotics club and school. I don't want to "burn myself out," as Rachel put it.

If they ask me why I will simply tell them I need to use all the time, I have to complete my senior project.

Ms.Butler emerges from one of her classrooms; I don't take her class, but Ryder does; that's his science teacher. "Oh Jayda, I'm so happy you didn't leave yet, hold on," she walks back inside her class and then comes back out with a folder in her hand, "Here," she tries to hand it to me.

"What is it?"

"Ryder's, work, it's been here all week. I thought you were going to pick it up Monday, but you never came,"