What's Enough?

Chapter 169

Three months later

"I have been here at A Second Chance since the 27th of January, that's 89 days, 2,136 hours, 128,160 minutes, and 7,689,600 seconds. It was rough at first; the first two weeks were the hardest. I didn't want to go to the classes; I didn't want to attend the meetings. I didn't even want to attend my sessions with Mr.Dale, but I wouldn't dare to tell him no,"

The nine doctors at the round table laugh, my mother and father force an awkward smile through their pressed lips.

"Even if I did tell him no, I'm sure he wouldn't have taken it for an answer. I'm grateful he didn't. I've been meeting with him daily; I started medication two months ago," Even though I was against it, Dale and his convincing words changed my mind. He stated, "What better place than to try medication while I am here in a place full of doctors."

The redhead woman asks, "What were you on?" While looking through my file.

"Uhm, well, during the first two weeks of February, I was on Antipsychotics, risperidone," I look over to Dale, making sure I pronounced the big word right, he gives me a simple nod confirming I did.

The other doctor then asks, "What happened once you took them? Why did you discontinue that form of treatment?" while looking at a paper in his folder.

"I got sick," I was throwing up everywhere; it felt like a nasty hangover. "My vision went away for like two days, I was throwing up, and I contracted a fever," I put myself through all of that for nothing.

"And you decided to then take her off the Antipsychotics and instead try an Antidepressant with a mood stabilizer," Another doctor asks Dale looking across the table.

He sits up straighter, "Yes. It wasn't my decision in the first place to put her on an Antipsychotic, again; as I have stated before, Ms.King does not have psychosis, she is not psychotic, her family has no history of such a thing,"

"Yes, but psychosis can be brought of alcohol and drug abuse-"

"Two of which Jayda had not used in two months!" Dale states in a demanding tone, defending that drugs didn't bring on my problems.

The head doctor clears his throat and says, "What are you on now, Jayda?"

"Lexapro," The antidepressant, and "Lithium," The mood stabilizer. "I have been taking these since February 15th," I have to take two because when you are on an antidepressant, it can cause a manic episode; that's why you take the mood stabilizer to balance everything out.

"And how do you feel? How have you been feeling?"

"G-," I stop the word from coming out when I think back to before this meeting happened; Dale said they would ask that, and he said not to say good. I failed to ask him what to say, "Better," I answer. It's the truth saying good would be lying; saying better is, well, better than saying good.

They slowly nod. I continue where I was going with this. "I accept full responsibility for what I did to myself. Being here, I have learned that my life is in my hands, and I choose whether I live or die. I want to live," I straighten up my stance, "I want another chance,"

All the doctors look at me, trying to figure out if what I am saying is the truth or I have just perfected the craft of deceiving the doctors; they don't look too convinced. Dale notices and chimes in, "Jayda has completed the six-month program in three months, I have statements from her other doctors, the counselors, and they all think that her returning home is a good idea," He pulls out letters from a folder, I didn't know that other doctors except for the ones in front of me thought I should be going home. I thought it was only Dale. "I believe that she should go home. Jayda has missed out on a lot of things during her teenage years; she has only one month and some weeks left in high school; before it's all over, I think she should go home and enjoy it,"