What's Enough?

Chapter 125

Ryder POV

"Could you just say it?" she asks, "You're scaring me,"

"I don't think I should tell you,"

Her perfectly arched brow scrunches together, "Why?"

"I don't know what you're going to do when I tell you,"

She huffs, "Me neither because you have yet to tell what it is you have to tell me," there's tension in her voice, as there should be; I have been drawing this out for about five minutes now.

How can I tell her? She already blames herself for me getting shot, which is stupid because I'm the one who hopped in front of her. Either way, she still blames herself for that, and I know once I tell her this, she will blame herself also.

It'll be too much for her. 

The plan was to keep her away from me. If I did that, then Ashely would stop searching for things to use to hurt her.

Sooner or later, she's bound to find out the truth about this, just like she and Matt found out about her time at the Mental Health Facility. If Matts's dad wasn't a fucking cop, they wouldn't have had access to her records to find out that information.

I told Ashley I would get rid of Jayda for good if she and he stopped searching for things. Ashley agreed, and that's why I told her that my mom was getting another tutor.

I, for sure, thought she would never come back here and that I would never see her until I return to school.

But of course, there's always something fucking pulling us back together.

I just tried to say every hurtful thing I could think of to make her hate me, but I couldn't just watch her cry like that in front of me; every untruthful word I said caused a sharp pain in my whole body; my body hurts on a daily, but it hurt more than ever watching her break down.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid when I tell you," That's the only way I'll agree to tell her if she promises me that she won't overreact and lose her mind.

She shakes her head and walks closer, "I won't, I promise,"

I believe her; unlike me, she isn't one to break her promises.

My leg starts hurting again. I've been standing for too long. I take a seat at the end of my bed; she also sits but all the way at the other end.

"It's about Caleb's sister,"

"Wait, is this about you two dating? I know this already," she says. "Caleb told me about you two and the pregnancy thing,"

"Of course he did," I say; he probably made me out to be the worse fucking person in the world when he doesn't know shit about anything.

He always thought his sister was just this perfect girl when really she was a lying hoe who slept with all of my friends and then wanted to say the baby was mine. 

What the fuck did he expect me to do? Just believe her ass.

They say if you take a girl's virginity, she'll become super attached and sometimes crazy.

That's a damn lie, I didn't even take her virginity, and she was hooked.

She was cool at first, different; that's why I lost mine to her; at the time, I didn't realize that it would later become one of my biggest regrets.

"So is that what you were going to tell me?" she laughs, "What a relief; I thought it was something deep,"

I run my hands through my hair, "That's not it,"