What's Enough?

Chapter 137

Apologize- One Republic

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"What?" I say weakly.

"I'm in love with you," he repeats.

My back is still pressed against the car, "I don't know what to say," There's nothing to say; I don't love him, at least not like that.

He places his hands on the side of my face. His fingertips on my skin ignite something inside of me the same thing I felt last week when he said he hated me and then said he could never hate me. Unlike last time I can't move, a part of me doesn't want to move.

His thumb caresses my cheek, "I've always been in love with you,"

I have no idea why I am crying right now, but I am; the wet tears falling down my face make my face cold because of the air's briskness. He takes his other hand and wipes the tear away.

Slowly the magnetic force between us pulls us together, the breath coming from his body warms my lips, that's how close his lips are from mine. I know he's waiting for me to stop him and pull away, but I can't.

He leans in, and then it happens, he kisses me, causing literal fireworks in my body to go off within; this kiss sends a thousand bolt electrifying spark through me, waking up a past memory, a memory of a different life, a different kiss with this exact feeling.

He presses me hard against the car, and my tongue enters his mouth, increasing the force between us, keeping this familiar feeling at the forefront of my mind. I move my hand to his hair and allow my fingers to run through it; his hand grips my waist as he steadies my body.

A car door slams, and I quickly pull away, trying to catch my breath; I turn my head, and then I see him, Caleb. 

Because it's cold outside, I can see the smoke leaving his nose; he looks at Ryder, whose hands are still on my waist. I slide them off of me and rush over to Caleb, who is making his way to Ryder; I place my hand on his chest, "No, Caleb, stop, let's just go, I'm sorry."

"Your sorry, your fucking sorry!" He shouts at me. "You told me that I had nothing to worry about and that you didn't feel anything for him,"

"I don't," I don't know what I feel now.

"You're a fucking liar; obviously you do, or you wouldn't be pressed up against a car kissing him,"

"I didn't know what I was doing," I try to explain. "I- I, it didn't mean anything," is the only thing I can say.

"I trusted you,"

"You can still trust me,"

"I will never trust you,"

Tears roll down my cheek at his words. "I'm sorry,"

Ryder laughs from behind us, "It's funny you keep throwing around this trust word; if she knew the truth about you, do you think that she would trust you?" he asks Caleb. He walks from behind me over to beside me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him; he stays quiet; I turn to Caleb, "What is he talking about?"

Ryder POV

Caleb looks at me and says, "If you expose me, you'll be exposing yourself,"

At this point, I don't care; the difference between him and me is that she'll forgive me; I had a good reason for keeping this from her; he had no reason for starting this shit in the first place.

I look back at Jayda, "He's been lying to you since you guys meet; him talking to you at that dinner wasn't a coincidence; he knew who you were,"

"How?" her voice cracks.