We've all been here.

Stronger, Better, Faster, Harder.

These stupid voices won't leave me alone. It's getting to the point where I can't be alone in peace. Being a workaholic is helping me keep them out, but every time I'm left by myself I start sinking deeper and deeper with these stupid voices. They're not in the form of my father's voice anymore. I want them to stop. The worst part is that the words I keep hearing are coming true. I'm failing my work and can't keep up to date with my studies anymore because of these stupid voices and the words they say...

All these thoughts I try battle are creeping up my skin burning up from within like fire. No sleep, no rest, no sleep, no rest...  Alone in the dark, just my thoughts in a room The wheels were turning, I'm searching for truth What is my existence, tell me what I'm missing here? Finding my place, in this mess that we made Trying to belong in a world full of pain Tell me what's my purpose living in this circus here I've been running all night in my head and dangerous beats living safe And nothings certain but the moves I make, risks I take. Every step is a war that I fight Between myself and the fears that I hide locked away in the back of my mind cause I've been running round in circles falling backwards trying to breakthrough.

I went deep inside, where monsters hideTo free my mind, and come out aliveTell me when you kicked me did you ever think that I would get upCan you hear me now so loudly?I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. Can you see me now so proudly?Looking up at what I've become... Tried to find the light between your shadows, but it always seemed to fade, it took me time for me to learn to let go, but I grew stronger from the pain.

Underestimating me was wrong. Everyone said I wouldn't make it. Everybody from my hometown liked talking behind my back. Everyone pushed me around before. Failure used to strike me down with agony. Now? Being wrong helps make me right. Talking behind my back only helps me find my real friends. Pushing me around only makes me look away from them. Failure is just a stepping stone to success. Still my biggest enemy is myself. It's never good idea to let yourself get carried away.

No I'm not okay, in fact I really want start punching the wall until my hands bleed like I usually do, but like I said I've had no sleep and no rest. Doing that will only make me weaker, not stronger. Acting out of anger will never result in anything good. Take that anger and use your energy on something that will help you a better person with a calm mind. If you think that's hard try being me for a day and see if you still want to be after that. I've got a lot of anger stored up in here that's why the last word of the title is "Harder" because I'm referring to my heart. Sure I am "Stronger" emotionally and physically, "Better" mentally and "Faster" at tackling my problems, but I wasn't fast enough with my heart because it became "Harder." What am saying is what's the point of with all of this growth if your heart isn't even fixed or in the process of being fixed. My heart's pieces are too hard to be even glued together because of all this mix of negative emotions. Every time I try to piece it together it keeps on undoing what I've already fixed.

Am I diseased or am I just over critical? All I see is someone hypocritical, because I can't be who I want sometimes. I'm tired of trying to fit into the digital world we made where no one is original. Underneath are the flaws I hide, and I know that I'm worth way more than I show.  Because I'm only human. I make mistakes everybody's messed up sometimes, but it's okay. Taking medicine to ease my mind, but it's okay. Disguise my fears with words I'm so cynical ups and downs this life is feeling coldly detached, can't outrun the voice inside telling me I'm broken when I'm not, and every day is a battle with my thoughts.