We've all been here.

Dad's Home

It's been a long time since we last spoke. But if you're wondering I'm great compared to my old self and yeah, it feels like I've been waiting for this moment in my life, cause you know I'm turning 18 in a few months. I know this is weird, but hear me out. I'm a father figure to someone... He's one of my disciples, and yeah I lead a Bible study group now, we're family. But yeah, for someone whose father never loved him and wanted to be there for him. I'm someone who is even worthy of being called a father to this boy. But I'll be honest, I'm not doing that great of a job at being that right now. There are times when I'm selfish and I tend to forget that there is people out there that need me. God was always there for everyone and He was the Creator of the universe yet He gave all of us His unconditional love. And I realize as time went by that the phrase "you just have to be selfish sometimes" is different from "I'm working on myself, but I'll still make time for you." I realize that being selfish basically just makes time for yourself, meanwhile self-improvement is working on yourself so that you can give more quality time for others. As a "father" I'd have to say the hardest thing to do is giving your time and effort, in short loving them. Whether in front of them or while your away from them, it's really hard to care and love for them. It's no joke. It's hard for me because as someone who is treated more like family outside of my house, and someone who is desperate for my father's acceptance and my mother's approval of my suffering, I find it hard to be that key figure in a person's life. Sometimes I get lonely cause I remember that my dad disregards me as a son meanwhile my mother dosen't acknowledge the pain I went through as person, as a kid. And I'm not complaining, I don't hate them for it anymore, I just get lonely sometimes. But then I do remember that there is someone who thinks of me the way I see the people who were father figures in my life. Well to name a few them there is my elementary teacher Sir Peter, Pastor Dieta, Sir Largyen, Pastor Rob, Kuya Franz, and General Jungco. These are just a few of the great fathers that God put in my life. And these are men of God that I admire greatly and aspire to be. To think that someone thinks of me like that, someone that points them towards God because of the great care and love that is shown to them. When I remember this I remember that I'm not who I was before. I've never been alone cause God has been there and always will continue to be there. And I will do my best to keep being there not just for the sake of it, but because God's love is in me and in them, and I will do my best to show it. I'm not gonna be a kid for much longer by age, but I realize that I've already started my journey in becoming a man of God. It's never gonna be easy I know, but I can obey God in all things despite the situation.

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:11‭-‬13 NLT