We've all been here.

Rifts

You can't heal in the same environment that made you sick. You can't be fixed if the environment around you is breaking you. Blocking it out with your mind can only get you so far, you know what I mean? If dimension were real and I had the power to go between the rifts of worlds I'd still probably stay here, cause let's be real if I lived in a world where everything was perfect and I'm still some useless depressed crap, do you think I'd be better if I don't help myself? Being under stress is a part of life, but sometimes I just want to cry, but I can't, I always have to keep ignoring myself and work harder. Sure I can help others, but I'm apathetic towards myself. I can understand others, but I can't understand myself. Even if I could where I could live or live in a different universe it still dosen't change the fact that I keep wrecking myself and can't understand myself. It dosen't change my past, it dosen't change my history with relationships. I can't seem to find myself anywhere anymore so I'm just kind of here, just existing. I hate dealing with my emotions. Be happy for a moment and experience nothingness for the rest of time. I have to deal with thing called a "father" and now I have to do some more school stuff on Saturday. Why does this "thing" have to condemn me so much just because I don't do what "it" wants. Why am I here, I just wish I could jump into a void of nothingness and just be forgotten instead of being remembered to make me suffer. If anything it's my heart that's in different rifts.