Holding On With Maybe (Holding On Series #2)

03

"Maybe, it is what it is."

Weeks have passed ever since my singing voice started to become known to Timothy's ears. There are times that Bobbie can still find a way to record me singing. May mga times kasi na napapasabay ako sa pagkanta niya at ang hirap niyang i-kontrol sa totoo lang.

Kaya hinayaan ko na lang.

Tutal, Timothy's becoming a little annoying since he's being close with Bobbie, although I can feel na nire-reto niya lang yung friend niyang si Vaughn sa kapatid ko.

"Timothy San Jose, you're up," our music instructor called. Today's our mini talent show at nakapalibot sa bawat sides ng room yung mga arm chairs namin.

Timothy stood up in the middle of the room behind a microphone stand. May dala siyang gitara. I have no idea kung tutugtog lang siya or kakanta na rin. I was busy on the paper I am holding but suddenly, napatigil ako sa pagbabasa ng nilalaman nun.

I found myself watching Timothy while he's strumming, he was looking at his guitar while doing it. I found myself gazing at his black bracelet knot, I don't know why I found it attractive. Maybe because it fits his wrist so well. I was just staring at that bracelet, but not until he drops the first verse.

"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up but I just can't. It isn't blood."

His voice.

I didn't know that he has that kind of voice. How could he seem to be different when he sings? His voice sounds like Jeremy Passion's. I couldn't help but be impressed.

"Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing. I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take to ease my mind slowly. Just have a drink and you'll feel better, just take her home and you'll feel better. Keep telling me that it gets better. Does it ever?"

Nakabawi siya sa part na 'to sa totoo lang.

"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough. Someone help me. I'm crawling in my skin. Sometimes I feel like giving up but I just can't."

What's really the impressive part is, he's like telling a story while he sings. It's like, he's telling us his story.

And I admit, he's a whole lot a different person when he sings.

"It isn't in my blood, it isn't in my blood. I need somebody now, I need somebody now, someone to help me out. I need somebody now."

All throughout his performance, I couldn't help but wonder how he could possibly execute that song. It wasn't his but it felt like he owns it, that it is his story.

Nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin nang matapos siyang kumanta, nandoon nanaman yung ibinibigay na takot sa'kin ng mga mata niya. Balewala ang palakpakan na naririnig ko dahil sa tingin na ibinigay sa'kin ni Timothy.

Saglit lang na nagtinginan ang mga mata namin. But it was all enough for it to shout danger at me and to make me feel scared again.

And I wonder why.

What could Timothy's eyes mean for it?

Naputol ang pag-iisip ko nang pangalan ko ang sumunod na tinawag. Agad akong tumayo at naglakad papunta sa gitna habang hawak ang isang piraso ng papel.

I don't know if this would be lame but it's not bad to try, after all - this is what I can only do in this show.

"Buhay," pagsisimula ko. "Isang malaking palaisipan, hindi sigurado kung may patutunguhan. Minsa'y nakakapagod at nakakatakot ipaglaban. Ngunit sino bang madalas bumangon at harapin ang kinabukasan?"