SugaKookie

22

Jungkook POV1

I stir on the couch. Oh shit. Did I fall asleep? I gently remove Tae's snoring head from my shoulder. Yes, looks like I fell asleep while having a movie marathon with Jin, Joon and Tae. Where's Hoseok? I look around. He never did come back with me after we put Jimin to bed. Oh dear. I hope he is not angry with me. Almost as if by magic, Hoseok appears somewhere to my left.

"Kookie? You asleep?"

"No. Why?"

He hesitates a moment. "Where would I be able to get flowers?"

I stare at him, dumb-struck. "... A flower shop?" I say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And it honestly is.

Hoseok brightens up. "Thanks Kookie!" He skips out.

Wait... backtrack a moment.... SKIPS? What the actual fuck? Am I still asleep? I rub my forehead, trying to clear away the confusion coiling in there. With my rotten luck, it just gives me a headache. Ughhh.

I need to take a walk. I stand up and walk out of the living room, leaving the snoring boys behind. My feet have a mind of their own, and I stop paying attention to where I'm going, focusing, instead, on the drama of my life. We are to go on tour soon. The album drops in a couple of days. There are lives, interviews, dance and vocal practices. Performances. BTS Run episodes. All is too much for my poor head. I need a break.

So involved was I in my thoughts, that it took me a couple of moments to realize I had stopped. I am now standing in front of a familiar door. The door. Why had my traitorous feet brought me here? I turn to leave but a voice stops me.

"Who's in the studios this late?" His voice.

I gently push on the heavy door, not really expecting it to be unlocked. But it is.

The sight before me is otherworldly.

The door opens up to a dark room. Yoongi has turned all the lights off in his studio. A single moonbeam coming from the window illuminates the middle of the room. I can make out Yoongi in a dark corner, slumped on the floor against a wall. Of course he'd be in all black. It's with a start that I realize that the hoodie he's wearing used to belong to me.

"Ah... Kookie. Close the door behind you." I obey automatically.

He's drunk. My brain stalls. Yoongi never lets himself get drunk. He's extremely good at holding his liquor. How much must he have consumed to get to this state?

I can't deny that even in this state, Min Yoongi has an effect on me. A feeling I cannot name rises every time he looks at me. It kills me to admit it.

Yoongi nods at a spot on the floor next to him, and I take the invitation, sitting down next to him.

"I'm not going to vanish if you look away, you know." He drawls out.

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't need to. I know you Kookie. Know you better than anyone you can name." There's a bitter edge to his tone. "Or I thought I did." He sighs. "Why? Why did you do it Kookie?" It's a rhetorical question. He doesn't expect an answer. Yoongi's eyes glow in the darkness, burning into mine. He leans in close and my breath hitches. "You know I still want you." He whispers. I feel goosebumps rise on my skin. A ghost of a smile flits across his face and he leans back away."Is it bad to want someone you hate?" I flinch. "For I do hate you Kookie, make no mistake of that."

"Why?" I breathe out.

He doesn't answer for a moment. Then another. A minute passes and I make a move to stand.

"Don't leave!" He grabs my wrist, pulling me back down. The contact sends sparks up my arm. "Namjoon really didn't tell you this story?" Yoongi asks, letting go off my arm now that he is sure that I'm staying. I shake my head. Why would Namjoon tell me? "Jin?" I once again shake no. "Oh wow." he sighs. "Guess they really can keep a promise." He mutters under his breath. Another brooding silence follows.

"Have you ever loved someone?" Yoongi asks, the moonlight glinting off his black hair.

Have I? I don't think I have.

"No. Not the way you mean. I don't think so." Yoongi nods at me, but his mind is far away.

"I loved him. My Dom."

I gasp. Yoongi's Dom? But Yoongi's exclusively a top! Was this before Namjoon's time?

"It was years back. Before I even met Namjoon. I was young and foolish. Not unlike you. He told me he loved me, and who was I to disbelieve his words? To me, he was God. His word was law. I believed with my whole soul that I would die if he left me. In a way I was right." Yoongi darkly laughs. A short sad laugh. "The only definition of love that I had was his own. I trusted him with everything and anything. I had to; trust is the basis of a Dom and Sub relationship. Looking back, I suppose he might have loved me at first. Then he went slightly off his rocker. Not exactly insane but..." Yoongi breaks off, searching for a word to get his point across. He bites his bottom lip in concentration. "He took drugs. Not a lot. Not the cheap ones. He was a dealer, and happened to catch the addiction. I suppose they made him so over-possessive of me. I was small, frail. He became jealous. I was to be his and his only. He scared my friends off. I was never to find new ones. He hounded my every contact, wanting to know what I said and what I heard. I blame his addiction for the path he was driven to. He was always a bit of a sadist. Now he became unbearable. He took pleasure in my pain. He was both my tormentor and my savior. My worst nightmare and my sweetest daydream." Yoongi picks up a glass from somewhere beside him, and pours more alcohol into it. Drains it in one gulp and pours some more. "It became harder and harder to make him happy. Until one day. He came home smiling. He kissed me, and held me, and for the first time in months we made love, not fucked. There was something special that day. I thought it was a fresh beginning. How wrong I was. It was an end." I feel a stab of jealousy. Yes, no matter how twisted this all is, I feel jealous of the man that Yoongi loved. The man Yoongi held with no reserve. The man he kissed out of happiness. The man he worshiped. The man he was still haunted by. Guess I am just as fucked up.

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A/N

I'll try to update more tomorrow.

Saranghae,

The author.