Wolfstar oneshots :)

High

!homophobic slurs!
Sirius pov
I felt my cheeks burn from the cold and my fingers began to tingle. I dropped the blunt and climbed back in from the window and fell back onto my bed and smoothed my hair out feeling over my chest with a smirk. I giggled I got up and walked over to remus bed, James was out and Peter with some hufflepuff girl. I pulled back his curtains and wrapped my arm around his chest and began to kiss it Before he shrugged me off "sober up first." I kissed his chest again and rolled onto him "I'm fine remmy..." I wrapped my arms around his neck "Sirius i said no." I rolled off of him and got up
"Why only when you're high?" His question took me back "what?" He shut his book "we only ever fuck when you're high." I laughed and layed on my bed "you're being dramatic remmy."
"No Sirius. You don't like being gay. You can't say it. Look me in the eye and tell me you're gay. Tell me you like men" suddenly I was sober. Suddenly I didn't feel the buz.
"I can't say it, don't make me say it." Remus just drew his curtains shut. "It's late. Go to bed."
I didnt sleep. I just layed there thinking.
Why'd I only fuck him when I'm high?high.
I'm not gay.
"I'm not gay. I'm normal."
"Sirius. You can't think that. You can't think that being gay isn't normal.come here." I got up and sat at the end of his bed
"I know how your parents treat you. And don't act like they treat you okay. They don't. They treat you like shit. And I'm sorry for that. Do you reflect? Did they say something when you were a kid?"
"Faggots don't belong in the black family house."
Remus cringed at the word. I could see it.
"You are worth so much more than that. You are sirius mother fucking black. You are the most brave man I've ever met, that is the one thing your family lacks."
I felt a tear roll down my cheek but Remus wiped it quickly "you much more then you believe yourself to be. You are smart, and beautiful, and caring and so so perfect."
"What if I'm not? What if I turn out like the rest of them. Insane and immoral. Fucking they're cousins or some shit. What if it's just in my blood. What if I you don't like me when I'm not high. What if you don't want to hold me when I'm sad, or take me on dates, or tell me I'm pretty, or brush my hair after showers-" I kept rambling on and I had to take a breath.
"What if I'm not enough?" Remus pulled me into his chest
"Id do anything for you. I don't care about sex. You are such a good person." And even tho I hadn't realized I was crying. The tears just kept coming. I cling to remus a little more as he brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead. Remus cast a silencing charm
"Just let yourself sleep" my eyelids are heavy and I'm fighting off sleep. Maybe I should just sleep.
Remus rubbed my side softly as i drifted to sleep with a smile.
-next morning-
I felt a sense of panic as I woke up asleep in Remus' arms.
I can't have done it again.
"Shit-" I can't breath. I can't breath.
"Sirius? Sirius listen to me. You are here okay? You are in my arms and-"
"No shit! That's why I'm freaking out! I can't be gay! It's not normal Remus it's-it's bad. I'm bad."
Remus grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. I fought and tried to pull away. "Sirius stop. Stop you need this."
But I didn't stop. "Get off me! I'm Not a fucking faggot!"
I realized I went too far as soon as he let me go and pushed me off of him. I got up and ran out without a word.
-Remus pov-
I opened the curtains and saw James sitting on his bed with a worried look
"Your charms didn't work." I huffed and got up walking to the bathroom "I-"
"Leave it,James." He closed his mouth and leaned back as i shut the door and fell against the door and let the tears come.
"Remus? Sirius wants to talk" James was knocking on the door "he can go fuck himself. Let him be normal,it's what he wants." I heard James sigh but then there was another voice
"Remmy please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
"Didn't mean what? That I'm a faggot? or that you are? Or that i wouldn't care? Or that we only fuck when you're high"
Then there was silence. "I'm sorry about it all remus. I'm just scared. What if reg finds out and tells mom. I want to be with you remus. I'm just really fucking scared. And being high just cuts the nerves off. I'm sorry." I got up and opened the door, Sirius jumped into my arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and and breathed in his scent with a smile "I'm so sorry remus." I pulled back and looked into his eyes Before kissing him full on the lips Before pulling him into my chest again. I played with his hair but soon realized james was still there "can we talk about this?" Me and Sirius looked back and forth before nodding and sitting on my bed "how long?"
"Well, we've been hooking up since last year. It just got on my nerves that he was always high." James didn't respond for a while and just sorta stared
"Were you gonna tell me?"
Sirius looked at me then back at james "no..I figured Remus would get tired of me at some point. I didn't think it would go on this long." James didn't say anything again and just took it in.
"I gotta go." He got up and left quickly. Sirius sighed and fell back onto my bed
"This is not gonna be fun."