Wolfstar oneshots :)

Good note

Muggle au
Tw: sa, abuse, weird relationships

Adhd Sirius

Remus was always proud to say that he and Sirius ended on a good note. That it was mutual to end things, but it sort of felt like it wasn't, like they both thought "well he wants this" so they sort of just went for it. It was late at night and Sirius had just gotten back drunk from a bar with a chick on his hip. Sirius insisted that she was just some loner freak, who he had ignored the whole night but alas remus was tired.
He sat him down and told him to sober up because he was done, and that this was the third time he'd done something like this.
Sirius was instantly sober, with a thick feeling in his gut too.
"I'm sorry, Sirius. I think we should see other people" Sirius nodded gravely, because he could have seen it coming from a mile away.
Remus was crying, and there was snot and tears dripping down his face. He didn't want to let go- not now, not ever because he didn't want to leave Sirius. Sirius was his light but he was so so tired.
"I'm sorry, Remus.I'm sorry I'm shite. And I am. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I just can't hold on for too long. I love you. I always will- I just. I just." He cut himself off with a sob and just sat there, he couldn't think or do anything. He felt so so helpless. He loved Remus so much, he was just drunk. He didn't kiss the girl, didn't even pay her any mind, she just needed a place to crash.
"You can keep the place. Just let me pack my shit and ill go" Sirius wanted to grab him by the waist and beg him to stay, to tell him he was sorry for everything and that he just wanted him.
"Okay."

"It's just so hard because I know I was shit. But I was selfish. So so selfish that I just took. I took all the love I wanted, I loved all I wanted, but I didn't think about him. I spent my days adoring him..but I just didn't stop and ask if I was doing the right things. I wasn't."
His therapist stopped and smiled a little "it's okay. You saw your mistakes and wanted to correct them,that's just not what he wanted"
"And i mean every day I think of him because his names on the bills.
Remus lupin. And there's so much I want to say to him, but it's fucking poison. Tastes like bile and I can't get it Off my tongue. It's so so pathetic. I treated him like shit. I took and I took but i never gave. Never never never. I said stupid shit and did stupid shit and expected sex and candy and gifts and comfort and got the shit but I- I gave him nothing. And I deserve hell for it." He realized he hadn't stopped to take a breath, and he face was red and hot. "We'll! That was something wasn't it." His therapist was looking at him with something in her eye "Sirius..." he winced and sat up a little straighter "yeah just forget about that. Im sorry" she smiled a little and leaned forward
"You, Sirius, just showed emotion"

(Christmas, when Sirius was 11, he was told that he was weak. Was beaten blue. He never showed emotion after that.)

"But that was nothing. Just a slip of mind, it was-"
"Emotions. You have them, we all do. I'm so proud of you. How do you feel?"
He felt like crying, he realized. Sirius didn't have a problem feeling emotions, he just couldn't get them out, Somtimes he felt like everything was right there, a monologue, only Romeo forget his lines.

(He spent most of his childhood alone. He didn't have many friends, just talked to people a few times, when he needed to. So when someone liked him, he didn't want to loose them.)

He wondered how Juliet felt. And who his Juliet was, Remus? No. Maybe he was just alone. A fucked up sad comedy version of Romeo and Juliet they showed after all the kids had went to bed.

(Victims didn't exist. Not in his household, atleast. So even after, after all the police and the days spent alone and the therapy and all of the fucking shit. He was not a victim. And if he ever said he was, he was weak.)

(Because what we're you if you were weak. Nothing. )

"I'll see you next week."