Wolfstar oneshots :)

Falling.

AN: sorta inspired by atyd chapter 137 but not rlly, just has the same vibe yk

"Let's talk about you! Talk about how your family abandoned you at the age of 16! How James had to take you in like a stray! Let's talk about your scars! The ones your mother gave I can read you like a book, Sirius! Let's talk about you!"
Sirius was stunned. Shocked. He looked at Remus and shut his mouth "low blow, rems." And simply walked out. Remus expected him to come back and scream some more, or punch him, hurt him. But he didn't. He didn't come back.
And Remus wanted to scream. He wanted to draw blood. He wanted to kick and scream and throw a fit like a child. He felt hit tears ring his eyes that he didn't even realizing were falling. He didn't noticed lily in the room until she hadn't her hand on her shoulder promptly making Remus Jump back to reality "sorry lils. Got a little lost in thought" he wiped his eyes and got up throwing a fake smile at lily and leaving the dorms finding James in the common room
"Have you seen Sirius?" James looked up "no, just got here. Sorry mate. You two get in a fight?" Remus nodded afraid if he spoke he would cry. He cleared his throat and wiped his nose "got the map?" James frowned "sorry, Pete's got it and he's busy with dorcas" Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair but none the less sat down.
He was gonna wait for Sirius. If Sirius wasn't going to come to him remus was going to wait.
It was 11 when James went up to the dorms. Remus had picked his nail beds bloody and was now working on his lip
At midnight Remus felt sweet blood pool into his mouth, he guessed he had bit his lip a little too hard.
At 1 in the morning his eyes were dry his hands were shaking, his lip still sore nails still bleeding, now the muscles in his legs burning, being able to feel each different one ache against his skin purely from how long he had been bouncing his leg.
At 2:30 his head spun to the portrait hole and in walked Sirius stopping dead in his track when he saw Remus sitting on the couch. Sirius huffed and walked towards him sitting down and pulling remus hand into his own lap cleaning and healing the cuts on his hand
"I'm sorry Sirius. I was out of line." Sirius was silent for a moment before speaking "we both were." Remus nodded and scooted closer just wanting to feel Sirius in his arms agian.
Remus didn't like this.
The fighting, not like it happened a excessive amount of times, once every few full moons they would lash out at each other. Just sort of getting each other where they needed to be, that little push. Only for them it was a shove. Maybe even a punch. They needed to be acutely aware of what had happened to them, just so they didn't go running back to them, to their abusers, because they were weak. They both were, really. They needed each other to stay grounded, some times it just had to be rougher. They were constantly grounding each other, little things, kisses in the morning, a chocolate frog on bad days, sometimes those just weren't enough.
Although sometimes Remus would 'shove' a little too hard or vise verse and they would fall, but they never really fell alone. Maybe the other would drag them down, or they would fall next to them out of guilt.
Lily and James never got this, but it wasn't theirs to understand. They never got how they made each other worse and better at the same time.they never got how sometimes that push was perfect. How it was just what they needed. It was like they were in each other's heads and they could just hear
I need it
And it would happen. It was so surreal somtimes that they couldn't even get mad at the words spit at them and they would simply fall into almost pitty full amount of lust, but it was what they needed, and they knew that.
Their relationship was far from toxic. It was different. But when was different bad.
It wasn't abusive, far from it. It was beautiful and unique and if anyone would understand they would fell jealousy consume their body like a flash.
But no one understands. that's what makes it even more beautiful. If a relationship could be godlike it was theirs. It was so calming. And real. They needed to know it was all real.

Remus looked at Sirius with a smile
"I'm sorry. I love you. You grounded?"
Sirius smiled "I love you too."

Many would call them insane. But they weren't. They were just, perfect. It was all perfect for them. And no they didn't need to take off rose colored glasses, Sirius and Remus did that when they were 11.
This was just what they needed no matter how strange it was to the eye.