There's gonna be a part 3
Sirius didn't get out of bed for weeks. He was beyond disappointed and couldn't understand why thus was affecting him so much, they hooked up twice but Remus really was his best friend, and he missed him dearly. So he called him. Voicemail. God this was so fucked up.
"Hiya Remus, I wanted to say sorry. I feel like shit, I shouldn't have forced myself on you, and I uh, I miss you. I really want more, I wish we could actually date,but I know that's not what you want, so we can just put this behind us, please? I miss you. Call me back."
Remus didn't respond. He would wait it out, if he didn't respond by the end of the night, he would go to the bar.
So Sirius went to the bar, Remus had closing shift that night , so he went 5 minutes before closing, even though it was pouring rain.
He could see Remus through the window cleaning glasses, so he hurried inside "sorry dude were- oh. It's you."
He pulled off his jacket, still silent and walked towards him."
did you leave your phone home?"
"No, I just ignored your calls, why are you here anyway, I'm not gonna fuck you om the bar so you might as well leave." Sirius was on the verge of crying. He ruined everything. Go he was so stupid, all he wanted was to try for them. He wanted a relationship, he wanted to be held and to be loved. He wanted the whole thing, he wanted night time kisses, he wanted morning together, he wanted fights but now he wouldn't get anything because he couldn't control his god damn libdo for more then five minutes.
"Listen to the voice mail."
"I don't-"
"Listen to the fucking voicemail,Remus."
So Remus pulled his phone from his Pocket and put the voice mail on speaker"You didn't force yourself on me. I practically begged" it was quiet for a while, neither of them wanted to protest or speak up. Sirius was going through every possible thing to say in his head, but none of them seemed fit.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and that I shouldn't have done that. I just, I don't know. It felt right. And I promise you I'm not using you. I love you, platonically or not I'm not sure, I just know I do. And it's really confusing and I don't know how to deal with it, or express my feelings. And I'm sorry." Remus picked up a bottle of rum, pouring it over ice and extending his arm
"Drink. Takes guts to say that, you must feel like shite."
Sirius gladly excepted the drink, taking it all in one sip
"So, you gonna be silent after that?"
Remus sighed and sat down next to Sirius
"I'm...talking it in."
Sirius could feel Remus,he was so tense and the air was so thick you could practically cut it with a knife.he wanted to go home.
"Listen, Sirius I- I don't know my feelings. Not just with us, I have never had a good relationship with my feelings, and I don't want to wind up hurting you in the end if I miss understand my feelings. I'll really try, but I think I need to step away for a few days, just to be sure of my feelings before we do anything, anything more. I'm not ending whatever we have or saying I don't want something with you, just for a little bit I need some space"
And Sirius was crying, he didn't know why but it just hurt him so much to know Remus didn't want to be around him.
He had ruined everything he ever wanted, ever tried for within the past few days, he was going steadily down hill and hated it. What would he do without Remus? He hated this. He was ashamed, so so so ashamed.
He didn't want anyone to know now, he didn't want anyone to know anything about him being in love, he wanted nothing more to call Remus his best friend, to pretend he had no feelings for him. Pretend that night meant nothing. That everything they did, that the heated whispers, the praises, the touching, the gasp meant nothing. He wanted to push away everything because he was so ashamed. So so so ashamed.Luckily he got what he wanted. After a week of Remus not talking to him, Remus decided he didn't have feelings for Sirius, in that way at least and would very much like it if they could pretend it didn't happen. Sirius was happy to oblige and he felt as though things were going up, he was ignoring his feelings, just as he wanted.
They were back to normal, normal conversations, normal talks, normal nights out. They were better. No one was going to mention their nights, it was a mutual agreement.Until one night Sirius got a call. It was lily evens, saying that Remus was in the hospital and he had been beat up very badly, he had a fractured rib, concussion, broken wrist and a dislocated shoulder. He was at the hospital in minutes, sitting by Remus side. He was loopy on pain meds and didn't even know Sirius was there, and he was crying.
Why was Remus always crying.
He wanted to scream, throw a fit like a little kid.
"What happened to him?"
"Was making out with a dude behind the bar. A group of guys saw, and they didn't like it."
"Who was he with?"
"This guy Theo. He ran"He didn't Remember driving to the bar, he was just there.
He walked inside and immediately spotted the shiny golden name tag on a shirt.
And as soon as he saw who the shirt belonged to he wanted to turn right back and cry.
They looked exactly the same. Same hair, same eyes.
"Listen, If you're not outside in 5 minutes I'll come back in here and beat your fucking ass in front of everyone."
Theo didn't reply just noddedHe was outside in a minute.
"Listen what do you want."
"You fucking left him. In a alley, and you ran. You left him to die, because you are a coward."
"I told him to run, he didn't listen."Why didn't he listen.
As Sirius sat at the end of Remus bed he wanted to scream at him
He wanted to scream at him, and tell him everything he did wrong.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
WHY DONT YOU LIKE ME.
Why am I not enough.
What is what I have not enough.
What is wrong with you.
What is wrong with you.
What is wrong with you.
Why are you so difficult.
Love me.
What was going through your head.
Same hair. Same god Damed eyes.
Why didn't you run.
YOU ARE READING
Wolfstar oneshots :)
FanfictionWolfstar oneshots, 1000 words or longer each chapter:) Cover art credits to @pestoprongs on insta:)