Wolfstar oneshots :)

Jealous

sometimes the feelings you have for people can't be described in words. just pure bliss- in awe of how such a beautiful thing could be yours. or how a person seems to make everything brighter then it was just moments before. how you could look at someone like they hung to moon.

my name is sirius black. i'm 16 years old and currently being fucked by my best friend,literally. and my mind is drifting, too far too gone to feel the pleasure, or to hear the soft praises being whispered in my ear.
"why did you stop?"
"you're not here."
"what? i'm right here?"
"you're thinking, don't want you to regret this siri." a pang of guilt washed through me suddenly, i wasn't here.
"i'm sorry re. i didn't mean to zone out." he handed me shirt and pants and stood up "besides, we have class." i looked down at my lap "yeah. yeah you're right."
remus left the empty classroom without another word, leaving me with my thoughts.
-time skip-
we were sitting alone in the common room
"why did you leave?"
"what?"
"you like ran, i wasn't even dressed and you just left."
"i'm sorry. i felt bad. like you didn't want it, felt forced."
"i was just thinking. i was zoned out. sorry."
"i have a free period tomorrow, if you wanna try again."
"yeah, sure."
he went back to his book as soon as james walked in
"what we're you talking about?"
"a prank." remus said without looking up from him book
"oh nice on who"
i drifted again.
he was so perfect,and i know i'm pretty but i feel like more then that, i feel like i shouldn't be used.
"i'm gonna be at hogsmead for my free period. going with marlene, pretty girl isn't she? might head behind the stores" i didn't even mean to say that. i'm fucking gay.
"oh have fun." james said
"lily's out right now, siri help me come find her" i looked up at remus "sure" we got up and left
"what the hell sirius!"
"what-"
"hogsmead?a whole date? we're shagging siri!"
"you left me alone in a empty class room."
"i'm sorry."
"sorry?"
i saw person out of the corner of my eye but didn't bother to stop. i was crying.
"oh youre sorry! sorry sorry sorry! sorry my ASS!"
i turned away from him but he grabbed my shoulder
"STOP! STOP IT! I CANT DO IT. i'm not a toy remus. i'm not gonna let you use my body. i'm sorry."

you ever get the feeling where nothing feels real, like the worlds on auto play, just brings you everywhere.
i looked up and saw mcgonngal's office. i ran in and shut the door behind me "i'm sorry professor but i just needed a place to get away." she looked up "take a seat mr.black." i smiled softly and sat down
"calm down. you're okay" i nodded and looked down at my lap. there was a knock at the door
"siri..please let me explain."
"i don't wanna talk remus."
"im not using you. i'm scared of commitment. i didn't want to hurt you, that's the last thing i wanted to do. why do you think i stopped? because i love you. and i'm sorry i left i was just so scared. no one tells you how to do this stuff. there's no queer handbook. and i was just so confused. please. i'm sorry."
i didn't say anything but got up taking his hand and walking out without a word. the walk to the common room was quiet. i sat down on the couch and hugged him.
"are you okay?"
"just hold me. please."
he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head.
"i just wanna be loved for who i am."
"i know, it's okay baby it's okay."
i cried into his shoulder as he held me
"it's okay. i promise it's okay."
"i'm so sorry i got mad. i think people heard. i didn't mean to out us"
"i don't care. i just want you to be okay."
i was still crying, clutching onto remus like a lifeline.
i pulled away "your eyeliner is dripping" he said as he wiped away my eyeliner. i giggled and kissed him softly
"thank you so much"
"room of requirements? i'll be gentle"
"and i'll try not to zone out" he took my hand and lead me out of the common room, james was standing outside blocking the portrait hole.
"thanks for keeping them out james" rem said patting james on the back.

we sat on the bed in the ror
"im not gonna force you"
"i know."
i grabbed his hand and held it
"lay down" he said softly. i breathed in and layed down pulling my shirt over my head
"you're so pretty..."
i smiled softly. my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. remus bent over me and started to kiss my neck.
"you're scared." i tear rolled down my cheek "what if i do it again, zone out."
"focus on the pleasure. how do you feel right now?"
"nervous." he laughed and pulled his shirt off grabbing my hand and running it over his chest
"now?"
"you're so attractive..."
i reached for his belt buckle but he stopped me "not yet, i wanna take care of you first. make you feel good, we can get me later."
i nodded as he undid my belt buckle and slid my pants off
"wait-" he stopped and looked up at me
"you won't leave this time- right?"
he looked at me with soft eyes "i'm never gonna leave you pads." he kissed me softly and moved his hands to my waist rubbing soft circles
he slipped my pants off and looked up at me "you ready?" i nodded and closed my eyes.
-time skip-
"you did so good." i sighed still softly
coming down from my high. i nodded and pulled remus closer to me resting my head on his chest "make you feel good.i wanna make you feel good" he rubbed my shoulder "it's okay. i'll be fine" i looked down "you're hard." "yes and i'll take care of it later."
"is there something wrong with me? am i not pretty?" i suddenly felt so self conscious i felt like i was going to throw up. i swiflty pulled the blankets up to my chest and let a tear roll down my cheek
"no siri. i've never came. cant. never have. i don't know why."
"are you kidding? rem.."
"i know it's embarrassing."
"no no...i wanna try."
"go for it. just don't get butt hurt when it dosnt work."
i smirked and crawled down remus
-time skip-
"holy shit rem. i did it. i made you cum."
he didn't respond just kept heavy breathing
"we should..we should do this more often." he finally breathed out. i wiped the sides of my mouth and crawled up to kiss him. "taste yourself" he smirked and grabbed my face kissing me.

"we should head back to the common room" i looked up at remus softly and he yawned
"yeah. i'm tired."
"hm i wore you out" remus laughed
"no..you wore me out. wanted to make you feel the best."
i held remus's and and rested my head on his shoulder as we walked back to the tower.
i saw a small figure sitting at the portrait hole and held remus hand a little tighter, but when the figure stood up i saw who it was. reg. i started talking "i know you're best to hex my balls off and i'm sorry i just really like remus and i'm not goan leave him. tell mom, go ahead."
he didn't say anything but hugged me. "i love you siri." i hugged him back and let a tear roll down my cheek.
"siri, i met a guy, he's a ravenclaw, and i don't think i'm gay. but i like him. i'm so confused."
i pulled back and looked at him "remus head inside, i'll be up in a few" he nodded and went inside
"look it me. i love you so much reg. you are amazing either way. go for it. he'll be a fool not to love you."
reg looked and me and started to cry "come on bud, you can sleep in my bed tonight."
i lead him inside and hexed the people who stared
"okay, go get comfy im gonna talk to rem" reg nodded and layed down on my bed
"rem..i'm gonna sleep with reg tonight, don't tell james why my curtains are spelled shut" i leaned in and kissed him softly before pulling away and walking back over to my trunk "remus i don't have any jumpers clean, can reg wear one of yours?"
"siri i'm fine i can just sleep in this-"
"no it's fine reg, yeah he can wear one"
i picked my favorite of remus's jumpers and handed reg a random one before going to my trunk and getting two pair of sweat pants and handing them to reg and slipping my own on. i layed down next to reg and played with his hair while he drifted to sleep.
-next morning-
"JAMES! stop it. if he wants to spell theme shut let him, he's probably just upset."
regulas was awake and at the end of the bed
"come on, let's get up." i reached out of the curtains and grabbed my wand
"see! he's awake"
"just getting my wand so i can hex your balls off." i took reg by the arm and got up with him dragging him behind me "see james, my own brother." James fell silent.
"Sorry."