More ways to get kicked out of a store!
1. Go into the change room, wait for a little bit, then yell very loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
2. Take a pack of markers and draw on the walls while saying "Ohhhhh pretty colors!!"
3. Play soccer using the entire store as your playing field
4. Tell some little girl that her "My Little Ponies" will attack her in her sleep.
5. Run around throwing skittles at people saying "Feel the rainbow!"
6. Walk up to a boy with glasses and say "You're a wizard Harry."
7. With friends, form a line that leads nowhere. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will stand in it too.
8. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities."
9. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that you're a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
10. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
11. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
13. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
14. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
15. Put M&M's on layaway.
16. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
17. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"
18. Fill a cart with fake magic stuff and then run around screaming "I have to get to Hogwarts" then run into a wall.
19. Take shopping carts and fill them, and stranding them at strategic locations.
20. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
21. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
22. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout the store.
23. As you're walking around, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this junk anyways?"
24. Repeat number 23 in the jewelry department.
25. Ride a display bike through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.
26. Move "caution: wet floor" signs to carpeted areas.
27. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from bed and bath.
28. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
29. TP as much of the store as possible.
30. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
31. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"
32. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
33. Say things like, "would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
34. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
35. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
36. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
37. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (red lipstick might give an interesting effect!)
38. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
39. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
40. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
41. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
42. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemorrhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.
43. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV's to Young and the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.
44. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character, if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying.
45. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to McDonalds and try to return a toaster.
46. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.
47. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving the store. As you're walking through the doors act like you're expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can.
48. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash.
49. Take a fishing rod and pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks.
50. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and buzzing.
YOU ARE READING
The BIG Book of RANDOM
RandomBasically where I let out my random energy and things I would like the world to know. CAUTION: Too many intakes of random jokes may result in LAUGHTER :D
