my biker | yeonbin

sixteen

⚠️TW // MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM⚠️

soobin's pov

i woke up noticing that i was on a bed. i looked around, seeing the clock showing three in the afternoon. " yeonjun? junnie??" i called, obviously not knowing where he was. i started looking around the house. he's not in the kitchen, he's not in the living room, he's not in his room neither was he in the other guest room.

" choi yeonjun! daniel choi!" i screamed, maybe if i said his full name, he would answer. i searched in the bathroom, nope. i sighed, looking around. 'maybe he went out...then why didn't he text me? oh..right he doesn't have my number.' i shrugged and was about to walk out, but then realised the blade from yesterday was missing. i was pretty sure i heard yeonjun put it back somewhere..but now its missing. i started getting paranoid, overthinking. 

' did he take it?' ' is he going to use it?' ' oh shit maybe he's gonna cut himself again..' ' and its all your fault soobin, why did you have to make his life more burdened with your stupid presence?' 
' no one wants you in their life anyway...even soojin. that's why she killed herself.'

i shook my head. no..soojin did that because she was scared. right? its not because of me..right? i started scratching myself on my arms, unconsciously. it wasn't until the soap bottle dropped on the floor that i looked down and saw beads of blood. then i looked at my arms. nail claw marks. it was bleeding. i left it alone. it has been a habit of mine ever since soojin's death. but it stopped for awhile, i tried to stop myself. it was hard of course. but i managed to do it, and now all that work went down the drain. 

yeonjun..where is he? is he safe? god please don't make him use the blade. i started thinking of where he could be. i took my phone from the room and dialed beomgyu's number. 
" hey..is yeonjun there?" i asked, straight to the point. " nope! he's not here at the mansion." 
" what about the school?" 
" we only go to the school twice a week. the next one is tomorrow." i felt the blood from my body drain. where was he then? i felt tears building up in my eyes, threatening to fall anytime soon.
" r-right..thanks beom." shakily thanking him, i ended the call. i fell to the ground, crying. i can't lose another person i love.

yeonjun's pov

" hmm...its only the back glass and the windshield. you're lucky he didn't get shot in the head. its good you told him to lean back his chair." taehyun said. " right..how long is it gonna take?" taehyun shrugged his shoulders, " it'll be done by next week. stop bringing in broken cars, im tired of fixing it for you."

i chuckled, patting his back.
" yeah, yeah. whatever."
" tyunnn! come home quic-" i looked to my left and saw beomgyu. " oh! soobin was looking for you. it sounded like he was crying but im not sure. you better hurry." and that was all it took for me to grab taehyun's keys from the table and run out of the workshop. thankfully, the man didn't say anything.

i zoomed past cars and probably broke several traffic laws, but soobin is more important. even if i end up with billions of speeding tickets, i'll gladly speed again. quickly parking the bike, i ran up the stairs. the elevator was taking too damn long. i panted as i punched in the code. my heart broke as i heard his sobs. and im blaming myself for it. i should've at least written a note for him, but i was rushing. the faster i went, the faster i come home. i thought he was going to sleep for a little while more, after what happened. its mentally draining. i didn't want to wake him up to follow me either, i didn't want to tire him.

" soobin?" i called. his sobs began to get louder as i walked towards the bathroom. there he was, on the ground, shaking. i kneeled down.
" im so sorry soobin." he leaned in closer. i pulled him into my lap, him hugging my waist as i caressed his hair. i kissed his temple as he cried into my neck.
" im here. im safe. im okay." i rubbed his back.

" i-i thought i l-lost y-you.." he softly said, continuing to cry. my heart, it clenched in pain hearing his small voice speak. " im not going anytime soon, baby. im here." he looked up. " p-promise?"

his teary eyes and red nose, gosh he looked so broken. i wiped away his tears. i kissed his forehead. " i promise."
" w-where d-did you g-go? a-and w-where did the b-blade go? d-did y-you-" i cut him off.
" questions later. calm down and take a deep breath first okay?"
it took awhile for him to fully calm down and stop hicupping. i was still holding him.

" okay?" he nodded. " answers..."
" i went to get the car repaired at taehyun's workshop. i saw you in deep sleep and i didn't want to wake you so i left you alone." i slowly started. " i didn't leave a note because i was in a rush. i wanted to come home quick to be with you." i continued. " i threw the blade away. and i didn't do anything." i showed him my arms.
" okay.."
" come on now, ups. lets go cuddle." i grabbed his arms. he winced. i quickly let go. " owie.." i looked at him.
" what's wrong baby? are you hurt?" he shook his head, bringing his arms behind his back. " no..."

i stared at him. " soobin. what's wrong?" he shook his head again, persistent. i sighed. " come on soobin, you gotta tell me whats wrong, okay? so i can help." he shook his head. " you mad?"
" no. i won't be mad, baby. now please tell me whats wrong."

" i-it happened a-again...i-im s-sorry i d-didn't mean f-for it t-to start a-again." he showed me his arms. " oh baby. come here.." he waddled into my arms. " its okay, baby. im sure you didn't mean it. now lets clean it, okay?" i had questions, of course. but i wasn't going to pester him with it. i'll wait until he's okay with telling me about it.

i dressed his cuts, wrapping it with bandages after putting the iodine and cream. " okay..now what do you wanna do?"

" cuddle!"