And Then He Smiled (Logicality)

Chapter 61 - Trying To Sort This Out

Trigger warning: knife mention, injury

Waking up in the morning was lonely.

After yesterday's talk with Patton, Janus spent several hours at the desk, just trying to figure out what he should say. The right words were right at the tip of his tougue yet he still had no idea what they were.

Groaning, Janus stretched out his limbs, cracking his fingers comfortably as he sloppily got out of bed. Today he didn't have the energy to do anything. Still he had to go to school unfortunately...and see him. Just his luck I suppose; terrible. Getting up, Janus tore some clothes out of the drawers that he'd taken over.

Today he was going with a 'I'm putting effort in for you' look. At least he hopes it comes across like that. It was the denim jacket that was in with Janus' things back at that house, along with a crewnecked lemon shirt that ironically had lemons decorated all over it. Tucking the shirt into some jeans that he randomly picked out, Janus felt the sweet relief wash over him when he saw that his socks were paired in his draw, and on that note, he picked a nice, matching pair of black socks.

Getting up, Janus grabbed the beanie that he'd but aside for a day such as this one, and then made his way downstairs, following the smell of buttered toast.

When he made his way down, Yvette was sitting at the table with her bag already drapped over her shoulders as Patton sat on the sofa. However Logan was no where to be found in the room. Most likely still sleeping, set to be awake at 10am as always.

Going to make himself some toast, the butter knife was completely slathered in both jam and butter. Swishing his head over to Yvette, he glared right at the reminants of toast she held in her mouth. It was jam on toast.

"Can't you clean the knife after you dip it in both the butter and jam Eve?" Janus moaned, grabbing the knife and rinsing it under the fauset and slowly wiping the mixture off of it.

Rolling her eyes, Yvette consumed the rest of the toast before hopping along with a smirk upon her face, making her way to the door to put her shoes on. Whilst Patton went and sat on the seat by the one that Yvette was previously sat upon.

Leaning againest the table, Patton quietly scrolled through his phone for a bit of time, "How are you doing today Janus?" He asked as Janus put a slice of bread in the toaster with the butter and butter knife to the side.

Leaning againest the kitchen side by the toaster, Janus looked back towards Patton whom had grabbed himself a oatmeal bar from the breakfast bar basket on the table, "I descided to....talk to Remus...or at least...try to talk to him," Janus muttered shifting uncomfortably from his left to his right foot and then back to his left again.

Opening the wrapper to the bar, Patton nodded in acknowledgement before responding, "I think it's a good idea," Patton told him. "I'm sure everything will be alright,"

"I hope so," Janus states to Patton who started munching on the oatmeal bar as the two sat within the silence as Yvette sat back on her seat with Patton beside her.

Pop!

The toast popped out of the toaster, a nice and crispy brown tan covering the whole bread as Janus took it out of it before putting it onto a plate and buttering it with 2 layers of butter. Afterwards putting everything away and for the knife to be washed later that day.

At least he hoped he'd feel better by the end of the day.

~~~

At least no one was approaching him randomly like previous days when he first came back. At least that was a good thing. People really crossed over his boundaries last time so taking refuge in the bathroom was his only option.

After putting away the things he didn't need that day, Janus made his way to one of the only places he knew that Remus would probably go to in the mornings; his own locker. Of course Janus knew where it was. In fact it wasn't too far from his own.

Clutching the straps of the slightly lighter bag, his chest tightening as he held his head down low as Janus walked over to the locker, watching his own steps as the footsteps rang in his eardrums. His hands slipped down the strap, his palms sweatier than before.

"Um...hey," Janus said, refusing to meet the eyes of the boy standing at the locker in front of him.

The world went slower than it was before as the ground shook beneath Janus' feet. "Hey", Remus only greeted Janus.

Breathing in sharply, Janus lifted his head to try to meet Remus' eyes, "Can we...um...talk?" He stuttered as he asked the question. Why was it so hard to speak?

Softly, Remus looked at Janus with a concerned glint in his eyes, "...Of course," he replied gently, placing everything he didn't need in his locker and taking the things he did need out of it and into his own bag.

It looked like a more relaxed day, Remus was wearing the glasses he was supposed to wear and he wore a large, baggy, bottle green hoodie along with some bootie shorts and unriped tights. His hair was a mess and eyebags were visable, he clearly hadn't bothered with makeup this morning, or really anything at all.

Nodding, Janus followed Remus after he locked the locker, it was too loud in the corridors to talk properly to each other.

Remus lead Janus to a secluded place outside by the school dumpster, usually couples go there to bang but not today. Well at least not at the moment. It smelt of rotting school lunches and burning wood from the incinerator. The grass was mostly runback and was prominant by the gate oposite from the school wall which the dumpster was pressed againest. Graffiti was melted into both the wall and dumpster still was fresh with the words: "Fuck capitalism" or variations about the crappy school system.

Making his way to the corner, Remus peeled back a piece of chain linked fence that was nailed to the actual school gates after someone cut through it. No one knows who though.

The faint stinging of his skin being pierced slightly, ached in Janus' fingers and palm as the fence was finally pulled back. Ignoring it, Janus continued to follow Remus through the destoryed fence.

It was much nicer outside of school. The sun shone directly on the two unlike earlier where the school blocked it like solid clouds. It felt warmer out here, perhaps it was just the sun.

Already sitting down on a turf of freshly mowed grass, Remus patted the space beside him as he was sitting cross legged, his tights already getting grass stains that would be a pain to wash out.

As he sat down, Janus gazed at Remus as he craddled his own hand. "So what's up," Remus looked to Janus with droopy eyes, as if pulled down by heavy bags.

Taking off his bag and placing it by where he was going to sit, right between himself and Remus. Sitting down, the smell of the dumpster somehow lingered in his nose making him cringe at the smell.

Physically turning his entire body, Remus grabbed Janus' bag and held it in his arms as he looked directly at the other boy, "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, "Did I make you uncomfortable with something I said?" He asked a similar question but phrased differently.

Snapping his head away from the blades of grass his eyes were locked on, he met Remus' hazel eyes that stared right through the windows to his soul as if banging againest the glass. But instead tugging at his heartstrings.

"Please, I want to make it right,"

End Of Chapter. 1344 words.