Before you go... //h.s

The Breakfast Club

I was back at work, and Ash was serving right alongside me for once. It was a busy day, busier than usual and we had absolutely no explanation as to why.

When I'd rushed through central park, clutching my mug of tea this morning, it had been annoyingly busy again and there was no reason why. No parade, no holiday, nothing that either of us could think of... it was reminiscent of the morning I first saw Harry from a distance, but this time I hadn't seen Harry nor any other celebrity. It wasn't even the first nice day of the year – there was no warm sun coaxing people out of their apartments for the first time since November.

All in all, there was no reason why central park and Split Bean were so busy. But Ash wasn't complaining, more customers meant more profit.

I had spent hours repeating the same process, adding almond milk, normal milk, no sugar, sugar... the four walls of the café were pretty, yes, but it had been a stressful day and although nothing specifically big and bad had happened, a list of small, stressful things had stacked up and I could feel a few of my warning signs coming...pins and needles in my arms and legs, concentration slipping constantly, eyesight blurring slightly.

Ash didn't know I had panic attacks, and I wasn't about to tell him – it wasn't something I broadcast to the world. So I looked at him and told him I was going into the back for a couple of minutes, he nodded and opened his mouth to make a sarcastic remark but I rushed through the back door before he could form the words.

Immediately, I pulled my phone out my pocket and rung Maya. She'd experienced this before, she could bring me back off the edge. As bad as I felt unloading it onto her, I could not have a panic attack right now, not in the middle of work. The pressure in my chest raised and everything became blurry, indistinct pixels. I had a pit of guilt in my stomach as I clicked 'Call Maya', a very small part of me hoping she wouldn't pick up, so she didn't have to deal with me, I didn't want to bother her.

She didn't pick up.

I guess my wishes were granted, in a way. But this panic attack was coming and I couldn't be sitting here with tears spilling down my face unable to breathe when Ash came in. I tried the breathing:

In for six... hold for four... out for four. I tried hard to concentrate, but it just wasn't working. There was one option left, one person I could call... but he would be busy, I didn't want to be annoying.

Fuck it, I called him. After only two rings, I heard a slight click and then he answered, cheerfully,

'Iris?' he spoke, with a smile in his voice. I was silent for a moment, not sure I could get the words out.

'Are you okay? He asked quietly, his voice concerned as he heard my gasping and slight crying.

'uh huh,' I managed, but he wasn't convinced.

'iris what's happening right now? Please tell me, I can't help you if you don't tell me, I want to help you,' he murmurs,

'umm...having trouble...no big deal...I'll be okay in a sec,' I stumbled through the words, trying to downplay it because I didn't want him to worry.

'Iris, you're not okay. I can hear it in your voice, I think your having a panic attack, but I'm not sure. I'm just going to stay on the phone until you cut off, just know that I'm here. It won't last forever,'

HARRY'S POV:
She called me, and I knocked over my glass in my haste to get to the phone. These days, I just wanted to talk to her all the time, so I left Jeff and Mitch behind in the living room for a second, I just wanted to hear her voice quickly and then I'd go back to them.