Before you go... //h.s

Till Forever falls apart

HARRY'S POV:

Iris' mum had died.

I felt so incredibly guilty that I hadn't been there to support her. I know that we weren't in a relationship anymore, and it wasn't my place, but hearing her broken voice over the phone has shattered my heart in ways I didn't know were possible.

When I'd seen her caller id light up my screen, it had felt as though my heart had sprouted wings and was soaring through my body. I hadn't heard her voice in so long and was ecstatic that she'd finally decided it was time for us to maybe start talking again, as friends.

Even though I knew I wanted more.

She poured her soul down the phone to me, and I couldn't have felt more grateful that she wanted to be open with me. I could tell how upset and stressed she was when she called me, so I gave her the space to talk freely, and I think it helped because eventually she fell quiet. And soon after then I heard her deep breathing that I could recognise as her sleeping.

I left the line on for a while, not wanting to end our call because I didn't know when I would get this opportunity again. But then I had to cut off, she would be mortified if she woke up and saw I was still on the phone. So, I slowly pressed my thumb down, ending the call with reluctance.

I sat on my sofa for a long time after that, not caring that it was only the early morning and I should be getting all the sleep I could with all my upcoming press tours, talk shows and concerts. But I couldn't focus, only staring into space with a numbness filling my body.

Mitch barged into my house at lunch time the next day, claiming he wanted to go out for lunch. But there was obviously something else on his mind because he was not a 'lunch' kind of person.

We went to a café I'd never visited before, but with its good coffee and waitresses that weren't fazed by celebrities, I would be going again. I'd realised more and more lately that I'd made a terrible mistake by putting Beachwood café in one of my songs: it had always been my favourite café, but no-one really knew I went there so I always got the privacy I needed.
However, since my album release, the café was often surround by paps or fans hoping to see me so I hadn't been able to visit nearly as often which was really a shame.

'So,' Mitch began, gulping his coffee and taking a large bite on his panini. 'do you have any performances on shows that we need to be there for?'

'Um...yeah there's one on the Late Late show soon...' I begin, both of us knowing full well that Jeff has already giving him a schedule on when things are happening.

'Right. Enough bullshit.' He cuts me off and a sense of relief rushes through me as he clearly gets to the topic he's been wanting to talk about. 'You need to get your ass to England Harold,' he says, looking me firmly in the eye.

 

I was a fucking idiot. I'd bought my plane ticket hardly an hour after Mitch told me I should go to England because him telling me the same thing that had been floating around my head for the past few days was confirmation enough that I should do it.

And now I was in a taxi to the small town which Iris lived in, even though I had no idea exactly which her house was. And I couldn't exactly go around knocking on every door asking if an Iris Burrows lived there.

On top of that, I was beginning to realise Iris would not be okay with me showing up; she had more important things to be worrying about right now, starting with her.

'Hey mate, d'you mind just taking me to the nearest hotel?' I ask the taxi driver and he rolls his eyes but nods. It may seem weird, but I really appreciate someone treating me like a normal irritating customer and not Harry Styles.

I stare out the window as the familiar British countryside passes me with rolling hills. Rain hits against the windows as a gloom settles over the landscape and although I know most residents will be complaining about yet more rain, I can't help but feel excited.

I was last in England in March, so it's been too long since I encountered the stereotypical British weather and I miss it. It hardly ever rains in LA and despite the inconveniences rain can bring, it always brought me a sense of relaxation by reminding me of my childhood and dancing in the rain with my sister while my mum shouted from the warmth of the house for us to come inside.

I should call my Mum, see if she's around while I'm in England because if I don't and she finds out I was there, I will have hell to pay.

But I'll call my Mum later, right now I'm here for Iris. Even if she doesn't know I'm here. I frown and bite my lip, suddenly unsure whether I should even tell her, or whether I should let her continue her life without me ruining it again.

And especially at the moment, it's not fair for me to want anything from her when she has so much else going on in her life. I know her well; she'll be putting on a brave face and smiling but inside she'll be shattering under the shards of memories of her Mum.

'Here alright?' the driver turns to me and I nod, thanking him and handing over the cash. Then I grab my suitcase out the boot of the car and lift an arm over my head to the door of what I can only presume is the hotel.

It turns out it's not a hotel so much as a pub with a few rooms to rent. But that will work for me, I don't need five star luxury all the time despite what some people might think.

So, I climb the rickety stairs to my room for the night and collapse on the bed, listening to the vague sounds of laughter and talking from downstairs. The smell of roast dinners cooking makes my stomach rumble, but I don't want to eat.

My stomach might be telling me I'm hungry, but I'm just not. I'm too nervous to eat, too nervous as I overthink every option of what I could do.

I fall asleep onto of my covers, still fully clothed whilst the rain patters on the roof of the pub.

Outside the window, darkness began to fall, and the stars emerged. Only two fields away from this pub, Iris was watching them and speaking to the stars, but I didn't know that as I breathed restfully on the bed, blissfully unaware of just how close we were for the first time in months.

omg Harry's in england and Iris doesn't know ! Thoughts...Predictions...i'll try to update in a couple of days xx

The song is Till Forever Falls apart - Ashe and Finneas. Yes, i know it isn't played in the chapter but i listened to it whilst writing this chapter and i feel like it fits, and also kind of mirrors Harry's feeling for Iris? Alsooo Ashe is a queen and i love her and Niall's friendship :)