Before you go... //h.s

Infinity

Harry is in New York!

Or at least, he's arriving today and though I won't see him until his concert, I have a plan for afterwards that I'm so extremely excited about that I can hardly sit still as I fiddle around doing nothing.

I'm dressing for his concert at the moment, trying to find the perfect outfit where I don't look too dressy for the concert but look nice enough for his birthday celebration after. Every single outfit I try on just doesn't look right, the skirt is too short... the top is just slightly the wrong colour... I'm just not feeling confident enough to wear this outfit...

Eventually Maya stomps into my room, 'Okay go outside, I'll pick an outfit and whatever it is you have to wear it okay? Because otherwise you'll never get there and that would be the worst fucking situation,'

I hesitate, I hate handing over control to other people, it always gets me extremely nervous but I take a leap of faith and decide to trust her, 'okay,' I exhale in a breath as I turn to shuffle out of my room, my footsteps slow as a part of me is still reluctant to let her choose.

I perch on the edge of our sofa, tapping my fingers on my knees and my feet on the floor in nervousness. The seconds tick by as Maya continues to ruffle through my closet, the sound of clinking hangers and shifting clothes drifting towards me.

I turn on the telly. I turn off the telly. I get a glass of water. I don't drink it. I stare at the doorway to my bedroom. I walk over. I turn around, promising myself she'll choose well. I twiddle my fingers. I tap my knees. I pick at my fingernails. I check on Stanley, give him another grain of food. I look at the clock, again and again.

It only takes her five minutes to pick out an outfit but those five minutes pass with the speed of feather slowly wafting down to the ground. Until she finally appears in the doorway of my bedroom, a triumphant grin on her face as she holds out an outfit and I squint my eyes, trying to consider it.

'Ugh Iris please just trust me this is perfect,' she sighs with a roll of her eyes, so I relent, taking the outfit from her with a small mumble of thanks as I go to get changed.

I stand in front of my mirror, brushing my hands down my outfit self-consciously and I hate to admit it, but yet again Maya has chosen the perfect outfit for me. I'm wearing a short black slip dress with chunky Dr Martens on my feet, and it actually works well.

'Thanks maya,' I call out to her where she is undoubtedly sitting waiting for me so she can examine the outfit. She takes that as an invitation to rush in and flop on my bed as she looks as me,

'You're so welcome, I mean what would you do without me?' she smiles and I shake my head, laughing,

'Probably sleep more,' I reply. Her mouth falls open in mock indignation.

Harry gave the security guards my picture so when I approach the North door of Madison Square Gardens, they usher me away from the long queue of people and towards a smaller door with fewer people, not doubt the ones who could afford the astronomical prices of the VIP seats. I was incredibly lucky to be here for free, incredibly lucky to have Harry.

As we enter the actual arena itself, the noise hits me in a wall of excitement, thousands of fans simply waiting for Harry. Yet again it hits me how famous he really is, something that I never really remember when we're together because in person he's just so humble.

The stadium is dark as I fumble my way along to the area I'm allowed to stand in and the pure anticipation of the crowd surrounds me until my heart is racing just as fast as theirs to see him. It's only been a few weeks but the ache of missing him has been strangling me and lack of his physical presence has left me with a sick feeling in my stomach constantly.