Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Twenty-Four

It's been a week since Harry left now, and a week of searching for apartments. I have given up on my job, as I know that it's not going to work anymore, it just took me a little while to realise it. I've been a little sad about having to let go of something I love, but it was for the best. I don't know where Harry and I are going to go from here, if I'm being honest I'm a little afraid of him, and a relationship with him. I don't know how stable he is. He seemed to have changed since leaving the clinic. In that short period of time he seemed to be angrier, and shut off like he used to be. I know maybe he just needed time, but the clinic was supposed to help him to not be like that. How do I know if I can trust him? I really want to love him, I want to be with him, but I just don't know if that's a wise decision. 

I have, however, found him an apartment. It isn't far from my place, and there is one other guy living there, who is in his 20's. I am hoping that it could be good for Harry to be living independantly, but still with someone. I am just hoping they get along, otherwise there could be a problem. I will hope for the best. I have been in contact with the agent, and Harry is set to move in today.. I haven't spoke to him directly since he went to the clinic - only through Natalie, so I don't know what terms we are on.

-

I enter the clinic for what I hope is the last time, and take a deep breath. "Hey Nat." She smiles, "He's ready to go." She says, motioning to Harry. I look over at the couches and see Harry asleep on the far couch, his one bag packed and next to him. It's all a little sad really, his parents don't want anything to do with him anymore, and the only belongings he has are a few changes of clothes. I walk over to him and sit next to him, shaking his shoulder slightly to wake him. He looks absolutely terrible, as if he hasn't slept the whole time he's been here. He rubs his eyes, "Oh, hey." He stands up grabbing his bag, "You good?" I ask. He nods, "Yeah. Let's go." He's obviously angry at me, or something, but I don't want to push him to tell me right now. 

We get in the car and he looks over at me, "Why don't you just give up on me, Alexa?" I frown, "What are you talking about..?" He sighs, "I don't understand why you bother with me, surely people have told you over and over again to give up." I nod, "You're right, people do tell me to give up, but they don't see you the way I do. You're the one who broke my heart, and you're the reason my world was turned upside down, and I won't lie - I have wondered if I should be with you the past few days. I've wondered if you're not a good person like I think you are, and I have wondered if I should keep trying. But the thing is, I can't give up and I don't know why that is.." 

"So are we.. together?" He asks the dreaded question. "I don't know." I say, honestly. "Maybe for now it's best that we both find our feet and sort things out." 

"So technically you are giving up." He says. "No, I'm not..-" 

"Yes, you are. A break is just your way of disguising it, Alexa. We both know it. You're afriad, I get that. I messed up and know you think I'm a bad person, you're worried that being with me won't be as good as you imagined. You don't trust me." 

"That's not it, Harry. I love you, okay! I want to be with you, but you're right, I am afriad. Of course I'm afriad, how do I know that you're not going to leave one day and never come back. How do I know that one day you won't just get angry at me and snap?"

"You think I would hurt you?"

We pull into the drive way of his new house, and I cannot think of a more inconvenient time to be meeting the other guy that lives here. 

I open the door to get out but Harry pulls it shut. "Do you think I would physically hurt you, Alexa?"

Do I think Harry would hurt me? I don't know. But I know for the sake of the situation I need to tell him what he wants to hear right now.

"No, Harry. I don't, that came out wrong." He nods, "Good, because I wouldn't ever do anything to physically hurt you. I promise you that." He kisses me, and pulls away. "Okay?" I nod. I want to believe him, and I almost do, but I know that I would be stupid to not be cautious. 

I hop out of the car, and walk up to the front door, knocking lightly. I feel like I cannot think straight, and I am so confused as to what I want to happen with Harry and I. Moments later, the door opens, and my whole situation becomes a hundred times worse. Louis, is Harry's house mate. "Alexa?" Shit. "Louis..? When did you move here?" I ask. "Ugh, I decided to move here just after I came with you.. Not long after we broke up." Harry joins us at the door. "Hey, I'm Harry." He says. "Louis." Harrys expression istantly changes and he looks at me, "Is this.." I nod, "Yes, it's him." I honestly couldn't be more happy that Louis is Harry's room mate, because out of everybody I have met the past year, Louis has been the kindest of them all. 

Harry pulls me away from the door, "What the fuck is this? Did you set this up?" he says, clearly annoyed. "No, I didn't. I have nothing to do with him anymore, Harry. Please just try living with him, give it a few weeks." I sighs, "Fine. But this doesn't mean you have an excuse to have anything to do with him." I want to call Harry out on his possessivenes, especially seeing as right now we technically aren't together.. or are we? But right now he is clearly mad at me, and if I want him to live with Louis, I need to keep him as calm as possible. We walk back over to Louis who is quietly waiting for us. "Are you okay with Harry living here?" I ask. He nods, "Of course." Harry walks inside, and looks around. "I had no idea you were the house mate, but I am really glad it is you, Louis. Despite what you probably think, he's a good person." I lie, is Harry a good person? "I know." He says. "Thankyou." 

Louis goes inside, and I follow behind, Harry joining us. He takes us to the spare bedroom and tells Harry it's his. It is already furnished, which is lucky because if not, I have no idea what Harry would be sleeping on tonight. Harry chucks his bag on the bed. "Thanks." He says. I smile, at least Harry is trying to be polite.. so far. "I'll leave you to settle in." Louis says, walking away from us. "Not bad." I say, sitting on Harry's bed. "That thankyou was for you, not him." Harry says, laughing. "Well, you're welcome. And thankyou for agreeing to be here." He holds my hand, "Can you stay the night?" I sigh, "I meant what I said about needing to sort things out, Harry. I need to know I can trust you." He nods, "How long do you want?" I shrug, "Give it a few weeks?" 

"Okay." He kisses me on the cheek.

"I love you, Harry."