Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Forty Seven

I sit down at my dining table yet again for another lonely dinner. I look down at my plate of unappetising pasta, moving my fork through it, not at all interested in eating it. There's something on my mind that is completely going to flip my life upside down, and I don't know what the hell to do about it. I need to tell Harry.. I just don't know how.. or when. This will be maybe the second week in a row that I have had absolutely no desire to eat. I have no desire to do anything. I can't live.. without him. I can't just sit here and pretend that I'm completely okay with this. I'm not. But there's nothing I can do about it. A knock at the front door pulls me from my thoughts, and startles me. Who the hell could that even be..?

I open the door, not even bothered to check who it is. People always say to be careful when answering your door.. you never know who could be on the other side, but to be honest I couldn't care less and the dangers aren't concerning me at all at this point of my life. I look up and see the last person I would ever expect to be showing up at my house. Ashton? "What the hell?" I say, extremely confused. He looks guilty.. and regretful? So he should, he caused so much pain to my life.. emotionally and physically. 

"Harry sent me. He was worried about you." Really? Why do I not believe this, at all. "Fuck off, Ashton. Harry wouldn't send you here. Not after everything you did." I try to shut the door but he puts his hand against it, stopping me. "He did. How else would I have found you?" That's true. "Anyway, he said I owe him. He wanted me to make sure you're okay." I shake my head, "This is pathetic. He could've come here himself." He shrugs, "I don't really know why he's not here himself.. I'm just doing what he asked." This is all so confusing.If Harry cares so much, why didn't he just come here himself.

Why didn't he just stay.

"Alexa, I don't really know what happened with you and Harry at the end. And I don't really know why I thought it would be fun to do all of those bets. And I have no fucking idea what came over me that night where I had you in the alley.. but that's the past. Please forgive me. I think we've all grown up and surely we can move on." I smirk, "That's easy for you to say, Ashton. You're walking away from all of this completely unaffected. Me? I have lost everything. I have lost my family, Harry, any friends I ever had, my job. I have lost my life, and it comes down to you. If you fucking left me alone, and never started those bets with Harry, none of this ever would've happened. Do you understand that?" 

He nods, "I'm sorry." What a joke. "I don't forgive you. I will never  forgive you for ruining my life." He goes to say something, but I interrupt him because I honestly don't have the time of day for Ashton. "Get out of my house. And if you ever come back I will call the police." He puts his hands up in surrender, "Okay. I'll go. Goodbye." He walks out and I slam the door behind him. And after he's gone, and the anger is dissolved, all I'm left with is sadness. With my back against the door I fall down to the floor, and just about break down. But I stop myself, and instead I grab my phone to call Harry. There's a slim chance that he'll actually answer, but it's worth a shot. I want him to know how furious I am at the fact that he sent Ashton here. And I need to talk to him about the bigger issue spiralling around my mind right now.

"Hello?"

"How dare you send Ashton here."

"I'm worried, Lexi."

"Don't call me that." I snap at him. "If you're so fucking worried, come here yourself. Sending Ashton here to check on me is possibly the lowest thing you have ever done, Harry." 

"I'm not going to lie and say that I'm sorry, Alexa. Because I'm not. I was just looking out for you. And I can tell that you're angry at me for what I've done, but I'm not sorry for that either. It had to happen." 

"Fine, then I'm not sorry either. You've been a terrible person these past few years. You've made all the wrong choices and of all the choices that I have made, trusting you has proven to be the worst one but I am not sorry that I'm in love with you." 

"Why are you saying this, Alexa?"

"I'm pregnant, Harry." I blurt out. 

"What?" Is that all he has to say.

"I'm pregnant. And I get it if you want nothing to do with me or this child, I get it if this scares you and you're not ready, frankly neither am I, but I just thought you should know. If you decide you want nothing to do with this child, I'll be okay with that. But you need to make that decision yourself.. I thought it wouldn't be fair of me to keep this from you." He stay silent. "And I know this is twisted.. but I thought maybe if I told you, it might bring you back to me. I thought that maybe this would give you a chance to finally make a right choice."

"Can I call you back.. tomorrow?" 

I smirk, "Really, Harry? I tell you that I'm pregnant.. and you have the nerve to ask if you can call back?"

"This is a lot to take in, Alexa!"

"What about me?! What about me?! I get it, this is big news. But just for one second, imagine how I feel. You leave me here, alone in a strange city, and I find out that I'm pregnant. That is a lot to take in."

"No matter what, of course I want to be apart of my childs life. But that doesn't change things for us. I'll be there for you through this, as the father of our child, but not as your partner. I'm sorry." 

Why did I even expect anything more. "Right. Yeah, no that's fine. I guess I'll keep you updated then. Bye, Harry."