Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Thirty Eight

"Get off me!" I try to kick my legs against the tall stranger holding me against the cold brick wall, but he is too strong and I have no hope of getting him off me. I try harder, but the more I struggle the weaker I become and the more I cry. I try to scream for help but no one is around, I don't even know where I am. "Stop!" I yell at him as he moves his hands over my body. "Get the hell of me!" I close my eyes, hoping this is all a horrible dream, but the constant flow of tears falling down my cheeks tells me this is definitely reality. 

"Is someone there?" A voice calls my name in the distance. "Help me!" I scream, but the man puts his hand over my mouth. He looks around and in the silence the sound of footsteps becomes clearer. He instantly looks me in the eyes, and before I know it his hand has connected to my cheek leaving a terrible sting. He moves away from me, and runs in the opposite direction. I fall down to the ground, and can do nothing but cry. The pain in my cheek is unbearable and doesn't allow me to think. I try to call out to whoever is there, but it seems they're gone. I pull my phone out of my pocket and call the only person I can think of right now. Harry.

-

I sit on the cold ground for what feels like forever, until I hear footsteps, running quickly towards me. "Alexa, oh my god, Alexa. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, baby." I look up and see Harry with tears filling his eyes. He pulls me into his chest and holds me tight. I start to sob and he only holds me tighter. I don't know what is making me cry more, the events of tonight or the fact that Harry is here holding me. "I'm sorry-" He shakes his head, "No. Don't say that." He stands up and picks me up, carrying me to his car. I take a deep breath and put on my seat belt. Harry starts to drive without saying anything, and when I look over at him I see a single tear slowly falling down his cheek. This was my mess and now I've dragged him into it.

I stay silent as we walk into Harry's apartment, not sure what to say to him. I next to him on the couch, but avoid looking at him. "What happened to you, Alexa?" I frown, "I can't really remember... I was in the club and the next minu-" He shakes his head, "No, I mean... What happened to you? You used to have so much life in you... it's gone." He gently holds my hand. I shrug, not really sure how to answer him. I can't deny that leaving him and everything that happened completely flipped my life around, but I can see that he's improving so much, and I don't want to bring unnecessary bad news into his life.

"No, it doesn't matter Harry. You have no obligation to care about me anymore." He frowns, "Don't say that. I will always care about you." I close my eyes to try and force the tears not to fall. "You don't get it, Harry!" I pull at the roots of my hair in frustration. "I don't get what?" I can hear frustration in his voice. "You don't get how much it hurts me to hear you say you care, knowing I can never get you back." He goes to say something, but I speak again. "And you don't understand how much I hate myself for everything... you just don't get it..." He smirks, "Don't you dare say I don't understand how it feels to hate yourself." He pulls up the sleeve of his shirt, "I understand that." I look up at him for the first time since walking in to his house and see his frustrated eyes full of tears. "I don't want you to go what I went through, Alexa. We may not be together, but that doesn't mean I don't want the best for you."

I stand up and grab my bag, "I'd rather you just not care at all. It'd be a lot easier to accept that you don't care than it would be to accept that you do care but there's nothing I can do to get you back." He stands up and walks over to me. "Alexa..." He looks away from me, "I don't know what to do." I wipe a tear from my cheek, "You don't have to worry, Harry. It's not in your hands." 

I turn around and walk to his door. As I'm about to turn the handle he grabs my hand and pulls me back to him. Before I can realise what's happening, he crashes his lips to mine. I instantly give in to the feeling that I have craved for so long. This is what I long for. A tear rolls down my cheek, followed by another. He pulls away from the kiss and looks me in the eyes, wiping away the tears on my cheeks with his thumb. "One for good luck." He says, with a weak smile. "I love you, Harry." He goes to say something, but then stops. "Goodbye, Harry." 

I head back towards his door and something catches my eye. There is a table next to his door with a photo frame on it. The photo inside is us at a photobooth. We went there one day when I took him out from the clinic. It almost seems as if that was a whole other life.

I walk out onto the hallway of his apartment, and wait in front of the elevator. When the doors open, a brunette girl walks out. I look her face, and know exactly who it is, it's the girl Harry was with at the modelling agency. She looks up at me, "Um, hi.. you were at the modelling agency, right?" I nod, "Yeah." She frowns, "Do you have a friend that lives here?" I take a deep breath. I should cover up for Harry, but if there's any chance of getting this girl away from Harry by telling her I was with him, I'm taking it. "Yeah, Harry." 

Harry walks out into the hallway casually, but when he see's us, worry takes over his expression. The girl looks over to him, then back to me. "Right, I get it." She says and walks back into the elevator. She presses a button and as the doors close, she looks at us both, shaking her head. I look back to Harry, who looks furious. "What the hell did you say?" 

I try to give Harry an apologising look, but it doesn't help.