Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Fourty One

"I know you're done with him, and I know you don't want to know this, but I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't tell you." Natalie mumbles through the phone, trying to tell me something about Harry, but she just won't get to the point and it's really worrying me.

"Natalie, just tell me what you're talking about!" I say, getting frustrated.

"He checked himself back into the clinic today. He said if he didn't do it he probably wouldn't be alive for much longer." Part of me is surprised, but part of me expected this. The worst thing is I don't know if he's doing this because his life truly is at stake, or if he's just doing it for my attention.

"Thank you for telling me, but I'm done with him Natalie. If this is your way of trying to get us back together, or work things out, it's not happening. Our whole situation is a dead cause, it's too far gone to be fixed."

"I'm not trying to.. I just think you should at least come and say hi."

"I want to feel nothing for him, Nat. How am I supposed to do that if I'm constantly bringing him back into my life?"

"Look, I don't have any idea what went down between you two, but I know that you had something special.. I just think it's a shame to throw that away."

"He hurt me so bad. I want the pain to be gone, I can't wake up with an empty ache in my chest every morning. It's exhausting."

"I know how you feel.. like the pain will never go away."

"Exactly. I just want to be happy. Completely happy." A tear falls from my eye just thinking about how fucked up this whole situation is.

"And I get that. But I don't know if running from Harry is the way to do that. I get it if you want to stay away from him, out of sight out of mind, right? But just consider seeing him, please."

"Fine. Goodbye." I hang up the phone and flop down on my couch. I try not to think about Harry or the phone call I just had, but it's one of those things that is just sticking to my mind no matter what else I try to think about. I can already tell that I'm not going to sleep to tonight unless I go and see him. 

-

I walk over to Natalie's desk and give her a weak smile, "Hey." She looks up with a shocked look on her face, then comes around to hug me. "Lex, I can't believe you're here. Thank you." She frowns, "Are you okay?" I nod, "I will be. Is he still in the same room?" I try to ignore the heavy emotions that I feel from just being in this place. "Yeah, do you want me to come?" I shake my head, "No, it's fine." I hug her again, and then head to Harry's room. I feel like my chest is caving in as I lift my hand to knock on his door. Should I really be doing this? No. But I'm doing it anyway. I knock a few times and he quickly opens the door. Moments later it swings open and I'm met by an extremely surprised Harry.

He stares at me in silence, and we're both completely lost for words. He looks down at the ground. "Why are you back here, Harry?" He shrugs, "I was trying to tell myself that I was fine, I really tried, but I couldn't keep pretending I was alright, because I'm not. I don't think I'm ever going to be." I shake my head, "Harry, you can't just come back here every time things get hard..." He looks up at me, "I worry that if I'm not here.. I'll kill myself, Alexa." My heart aches at the sound of him saying those words. He walks over to his couch and I follow him, taking a seat next to him.

"This is all so fucked up." I see him nod out the corner of my eye. "It really is." He agrees. 

"Can we just.. leave. You and me, let's move far away from all the shit." Harry says. "We don't have any money, Harry." I laugh, half at the idea and half at myself for even considering it. "Who cares, we could find a way, Lexi." I shake my head, "That won't solve all the problems, that's just running away from them." I sigh. "Nothing will fix the problems, Alexa. I know you don't want to hear it, but you just need to forgive me. I know I fucked up big time, but the only way we could ever move on together and be happy is if you forgive me." I shouldn't have come here. Ignoring his existence would've been easier. 

"Where would we go?" He smiles, "America." I close my eyes, wondering if it's even worth giving this relationship another chance. It's honestly problem after problem with Harry and I, but maybe if we were far away from this goddamn town we could get some sort of fresh start and actually be happy. 

"So?" He asks. I shrug, "Sounds like an amazing idea, but it's no realistic, Harry. Neither you or I could afford that." I look up at him, expecting to see a humorous look on his face, but I realise that he is serious. "We'd find a way." I want to say yes, but I just don't see how this is even a possible scenario. I shake my head, "We couldn't, Harry." He smirks, "You're right. Forget it." I frown, "Could we really do that?" He laughs, "Yes! I know you're thinking about all the things that would negatives, but think about how amazing it would be." I can't deny that leaving this place and going to a whole new country with Harry would be amazing. "But you've checked back in here, you can't just leave, can you?" There I go again looking for any possible excuse. "Stacey's just giving me temporary stay while I need it. I'm not locked in."

"Okay."

He looks over at me, "Wait, really?"

"Yeah. Let's do it."