Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Fifty Five

*This chapter here has been put off time and time and time again because it's all too real for me... This chapter comes from a real and personal experience. It's hard for me to write and hard for me to think about. But it's also where I want this story to go, because just like in my own life, there is hope in a situation such as jail. If anyone else has been through an experience like this, you'll know that there is soooo so much more that goes into the whole situation and it's a lot more difficult than I'm going to make it sound. But for the sake of this story not being MASSIVE, it'll all be a little simplified 😂 P.S. This is also comes from an Australian prison experience.*

My phone rings. Unknown Number. My hands begin to shake as I pick it up and answer. As I bring the phone do my ear, I hear the welcome call from a prison letting me know that an inmate is trying to contact me. I accept and my hands begin to shake as I wait to hear his voice.

"Lex? Are you there?"

A tear rolls down my cheek and my throat tightens, keeping me from answering.

"Please answer me. Please. I'm sorry. It's gonna be alright, we're gonna be okay."

I begin to cry as the reality sinks in that Lauren's father is in jail, and the second closest thing she had to a father has just left us because of yet another one of my stupid mistakes.

"Please don't cry, Lex. I need you to answer me I only have a few minutes."

"Are you okay?" Is all I can spit out. I should be angry. Harry is irresponsible and that's exactly what put him here. But I am only worried. So so worried.

"I'm fine. Are you okay? How's Lauren?"

"We're fine. Niall left. But maybe that's for the best."

"I'm sorry Lexi, this is all my fault. I never should have come back into your life. I should've left you alone. I just didn't know who to turn to."

"You have enough to worry about. Maybe if he really cared he would've stayed..."

There is silence at the end of the line from Harry, and I can hear yelling and other inmates in the background. The thought of him being there breaks my heart into pieces. Deep down I know he is a good person, he is lost, but he is good. "So I got six months. I'll be out in no time."

Six months. It's not terrible, but it's also not easy. "Can I visit?" I ask. Unsure why I would want to see him after everything that's happened.

"You would want to visit me here?"

"Yes, Harry. I love you. And if visiting you will make all of this any easier then I'm willing to do it."

"Of course you can. I have no idea how to go about it, but I can find out and let you kn-"

Before he can say any more the phone call cuts off. I'm guessing he ran out time, something I'll Have to get used to. One of many things I'll have to get used to.

I hear Lauren crying, which obviously means she is no longer sleeping. Geez, what a childhood this poor girl is having. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and go to her room. She looks up at me with tired eyes and a gentle smile and for a moment all is good in my world.

I pull her into my chest as more tears escape my eyes. "I love you." I whisper quietly, hoping she never has to go through this type of pain. I carry her down to the kitchen and place her in the high chair while I prepare her dinner. I feel physically numb, but the thing with this parenting gig is that you can't give up when things are hard. My world may feel like it has stopped, but hers hasn't.

I can't stop thinking about Harry. Where is he. Is he okay. Is he scared. Is he being fed. Every single question races through my mind and I wish I could just switch off. But I can't. And the more I think the more I cry. I manage to pull myself together for the rest of the night and I bath Lauren, read her a story and eventually get her to bed. And then I fall to the ground beside my bed. And I sob.

I continued crying for pretty much the whole night. While I showered, while I brushed my teeth and while I ate my dinner. Not that I had much of an appetite. I played games on my phone to try and distract myself but nothing really helped. I felt so helpless.

At about 2 am I decided that trying to sleep wasn't working between the tears and the endless thoughts, so I pulled my phone out and looked up how to go about visiting Harry. There are rules. A lot of them. And there are forms. And my brain feels like it's going to explode trying to wrap my head around all of this. But I will. For him.