Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Fifteen

A massive thanks to my friend Hannah for helping me with this chapter!! X

"Alexa!" I hear Megan call my name, and run over to me with open arms as soon as I walk back into my old work building for my first day back at my previous career of modelling. I feel so uncomfortable being here, but I put on a fake smile, because I can see how happy Megan is that I'm back and I don't want to ruin that. My mind travels back to being with Harry in his house on my last day at the clinic. 

Harry leads me through the house, everything set perfectly, untouched, I almost feel as if I am intruding on someones home. We walk through the house eventually coming to a bedroom at the end of the house. Harry holds my hand, leading me over to the bed, laying me down gently and hovering above me.

"So I have a few photoshoots set up for you today, not too much." Megan says, although my mind is so muddled and I am not really focusing on anything happening around me. "Yeah, thanks." I say. I go to the dressing room and prepare for the first shoot. I take off my top and examine myself in the mirror, I have noticeably put on weight, and I like my body this way. I look genuinely healthy, but I know Megan and the photographers are going to tell me I need to lose the weight. 

"I  love you, Alexa. I love you so goddamn much." Harry says. Before I can respond, he plants a kiss gently on my lips. His hands move down to the hem of my shirt, and he pulls it over my head, breaking the kiss. His eyes scan over my torso, taking in every bit of skin. "You are so perfect, Alexa." 

I pick up the first dress I am required to wear, and examine it. The fit is definitely for my previous body, the one I had when I used to model. I know this dress is going to be a tight fit, but I don't have a choice. I pull the dress over my head, and take a deep breath as I try to get to tight-fitting dress to sit comfortably on me. "On in five minutes, Alexa!" I hear Megan call.

Minutes later both mine and Harry's bodies are completely exposed. I feel somewhat shy being around him like this, but something about his demeanour calms me. Harry lowers his body closer to mine, and gooose bumps rise on my skin. He brang his lips to my neck, sucking lightly, as his hand lightly travelled down my body causing even more goose bumps to arise. I moved a curl from his forehead and our eyes met, and for once, I felt a connection with Harry I had never had before. He was vulnerable and it was if the pain always held in his eyes, was disappearing to make room for a Harry who tried so hard to stay hidden.

After I managed to get the dress on, with a very snug fit, I let the makeup team work their magic before going out to the set. It was completely white giving me an instant head ache. "Wonderful to have you back, Alexa. We'll start off with some natural shots on the stool." The photographer says. I move over to the stool on the white set and face the camera. I attempt to sit still but my mind is racing with toughts of Harry. 

He rocked his hips against me and I felt his presence becoming harder by the moment. I moved my hand down to his crotch, and began to rub him. Slight groans left his mouth inbetween the kisses on my neck, which were becoming more intense. I felt myself becoming wetter and more responsive to his touch, and the ache inside of me became unbearable. "Harry, please." 

Megan rushes over to me about five minutes into the shoot with a worried look on her face. "Alexa, is something wrong?" She asks. I shake my head, "No, sorry. I'm just a little distracted." She smiles sympathetically but I an tell she is getting annoyed with me, "Try to focus, hun." I nod, "I will, sorry." 

Harry grabs a condom, and within moments his eyes are locked on mine. I feel like time is moving in sow motion, and my mind is a complete blur. "Are you sure?" Harry asks me. The ache in my lower region is growing and all I can manage is a slight nod, but seconds later Harry is inside me. I let out a moan on relief and Harry plants a kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Alexa." I open my eyes briefly, looking up at Harry, "I love you, Harry." A tear falls from his eye and he rests his forehead on mine. His breathing speeds up as does mine. In sync, we come undone, and his body collapses on mine. We lie there in silence as our breathing slows down. 

I manage to keep myself focused for about half an hour more, until I can't take it any more. I rush out of the building, not sure where to go. I need air. I feel like my chest is collapsing in there. I need Harry. "Alexa! Where are you going?!" I hear Megan call behind me, but I continue to rush out. I don't want to be here.  I don't want to do this. I want to be with Harry. 

Harry lies next to me, placing his arm around me. I see the many scars on his arm, and I trace my finger over them lightly. He doesn't say anything, and neither do I. I'm not really sure what to say, and I'm afraid that if I speak I'll end up in tears. Harry stands up, and gets dressed. I feel somewhat upset that our intimate experience is over so easily, but what did I expect, really? I refrain from saying anything, and decide to get dressed as well. 

I finally reach the front of the building, and take a deep breath of air. I take a seat on the step, burying my head in my knees. The tears come instantly. I don't want to be here. I want to be where I belong. I want to be with Harry. I'm aware that I am probably ruinning all the makeup that has been put on me, but I couldn't care less. I don't even want to go back in there.

"We should go." Harry says once we are both dressed. I'm not sure what to say, so I just nod and follow him out to the car. The drive back to the clinic is silent, apart form the radio playing softly in the background. My eyes continuously fill with tears and I try my hardest to blink them away. I want to say something to Harry, but my mind is blank. We get back to the clinic, and I decide that now is the best time for goodbye. I need to get it over and done with. We get out of the car, and are standing alone in the parking lot. "I guess this is goodbye." I say, standing against the edge of the car. Harry comes closer to me, pushing his body against me, and placing a kiss on my lips. I don't understand him, why would he have sex with me and then just get up and leave so quickly, then kiss me again. I want an explanation, but I'm too afraid to ask. "Goodbye." Harry says. His eyes lock to mine. I am completely lost for words. "Goodbye, Harry." Is all I can manage. He turns around and walks across the parking lot, into the clinic. It all feels too surreal. I don't know when I will see him again, and the sight of seeing him just walk away like this hurts a lot. "I love you, Harry." I whisper, hoping that some way he would hear it.

After sitting on the step for a while I work up the courage to go back inside and finish the photoshoot. It's all I can do. Maybe I can learn to love modelling again. Maybe.