Angel (H.S AU)

Chapter Four

After my short and not so sweet visit to Harry, I decided to go to Stacey's office in hope of finding out some more information on Harry. I want to know if there's ever a chance that he would be a bit of a friend, or if my whole time here with him is going to go the same sort of way as today.

I knock on her door, and here her tell me to come in. When I go in to her office, she is sitting on the opposite side of the desk, and I take a seat on one of the chairs infront of her table.

"Alexa, is everything okay?" She asks. I nod, "Uhm, yeah, well sort of." I stutter. I don't want to seem rude or ungrateful about this, so I need to word this carefully. I also certainly don't want her to think I am complaining about Harry in anyway. If anything, I feel for him even more than I did before I met him. He obviously has some deep rooted issues that make him act this way in turn, and I hate that he feels like this.

"It's Harry." She smiles, nodding. "I expected you'd come and talk to me about him." I relax a little, it's good to know that she is aware of the situation, so it seems. "What did he say do you?" She says.

"Basically, he doesn't want any kind of friendship, he just wants me to take him food." I say, recalling the event that took place in his room.  "I don't think he likes me." I admit, laughing.

"He's difficult, that's for sure. Look, don't take it personally. He hasn't ever let anyone in, that's just who he is, he's damaged and is past saving. To put it simply, he's a lost cause." I frown, wondering if she really just said that. She basically just told me there's no hope for Harry. "He's only here because if he's at home, he will sadly kill himself." She adds.

"So I just take him food and medication? That's it?" I ask. If that's all I have to do, my days here will be simple. By what Stacey was telling me earlier, most patients form a friendship with their nurses. They go out for lunch occasionally and hang out. I guess none of that is going to happen with Harry.

"Yeah. I know you were probably expecting more, but he's the only patient without a nurse right now." Stacey says, giving me a sympathetic smile. "And I honestly thought that maybe a young beautiful girl like yourself could help that boy." I laugh, rolling my eyes.

"Somehow, I don't think so. I really do think he hates me, Stacey!" She laughs, shaking her head. "Don't take it personally, honey." She looks down at her watch. "Anyway, it's almost twelve, you best go get him some lunch." 

I get up and leave her office, feeling better than I was when I entered. I actually feel happy, but i get the feeling as soon as I see Harry again that happiness will be sucked away. I'm not going to stop trying to be his friend, but in saying that, I know it won't be easy. We probably never will be friends, but it's worth a shot.

When I get to the kitchen, the meals are prepared and waiting. I enter the kitchen and tell one of the ladies in there that I'm in need of Harry's lunch. The lady nods, and hands me a plate of hot food. She smiles, "Good luck." I guess there's a reputation for Harry around her, they all seem to know they kind of guy he is. 

I laugh, and take the plate. "I'm going to need all the luck I can get." I say, and leave the kitchen. As I'm approaching Harry's room, I mentally prepare in my head what I'm going to do. I'll go into his room, give him his food, maybe say something to him even though he'll probably ignore me, and then leave.

When I get to his door, I punch in the code and open the door. He is sitting on the couch, watching TV. I smile and place his meal on the small table. He doesn't say anything, but glances over at me, then to the food and then back to the television screen.

"How are you?" I ask. He looks at me, and says nothing for a few moments. "Fine." He answers.

He gets up from the couch, and goes over to the table, sitting down to eat his meal. "Are you going to come to the common room?" He laughs, "Yeah right." I'll take that as a no. 

"It could be fun." I say. He ignores me and continues to eat. "Well, I'll go now. Enjoy your meal." He smirks, "It tastes like shit." 

-

When twelve thirty rolls around, I go to the common room. I'm hoping Harry will be there, but I know that he won't be. When I arrive, I don't see him. Most of the other patients seem to be here, and all having a good time. If Harry would just come here, he'd realise it's not as bad as he thinks.

I decide to go to his room, and try to convince him to come. I punch in the code, and when I enter he's still on the couch and is now playing video games. "You're not coming to the common room?" He rolls his eyes. "You're new here, you don't realise that I don't fucking associate with the rest of this place. Got it?" He says.

I notice a dash of blood on his wrist, poking out from the sleeve of his shirt. Oh no. I remember reading on his file that he has self harmed before and does occasionally. The clinic does everything they can to keep objects that can be used in that way, away from patients, but they also try to make the living situation here as normal as possible, so things don't always work out.

I need to say something. I know I shouldn't, but I can't just leave here without mentioning it. "Your wrists." I notice his body tense at my comment, but he says nothing.

"You should bandage them." I say.

"They're fine." He answers back, clearly annoyed with me. "Can you leave?" He says to me, as more or a statement than a question.

"Sure. I'll be back later with your dinner."

I don't really know what to do when your patient self-harms. I'm sure there is some procedure to follow, but I decide against that. I am going to try my own way, and talk to him about it. If that doesn't help after a short time, I'll go to my handbook and find out what to do.