Eunoia [Bucky Barnes]

chapter 20

Ava had decided not to follow after the two boys. She needed a break from this whole 'superhero' thing and decided to take the time to improved her skills so she could be just as good as Nat.

That evening she decided to go back to her apartment instead of the Avengers compound, and as she opened the door, she turned on the lights and stepped in, smiling to be back home. Steve had left her with Bucky's file to look through incase she changed her mind. She poured herself a glass of water and sat down at her kitchen table to begin the read.

It was hard to see some of the things that had happened to Bucky since he fell off the train, but it was necessary to find how to piece his mind back together. Ava's reading was stopped when she heard the handle of her front door being tried.

Shooting up she grabbed the handgun she kept on her cabinet and raised it to the door. She was about to turn and call Steve when whoever was trying to get in was successful and the door swung open. Ava quickly let out three shots as it slammed shut again in protection.

"Who's there?!" Ava shouted at the person behind the door as it slowly creaked opened again.

"It's.. it's Bucky." Bucky answered, sounding unsure, making Ava lower her weapon and rush towards the door.

"Bucky, what are you doing here? Oh my god, I'm sorry for shooting, I ju-"

"Ava, I broke into your house, I hardly think you're in the wrong." The use of her name made Ava take a step back from him again. Bucky noticed the change in her welcome and raised a hand to face palm before running it through his hair. "I thought if I used your name you'd trust me a little more.. I don't know." Ava smiled as she closed the door behind him, motioning for him to move through to her kitchen.

"Why are you here? Finally killing me off?" Ava asked while Bucky just looked down at his hands.

"I'm not here to kill you, at all. I just wanted to tell you.. I'm beginning to remember. Not just pieces but moments, and it's so difficult. I don't even know what memories are real anymore." He whispered out as Ava just moved round the table to take one of his hands, but he pulled it away as soon as she tried reaching to hold it.

"Bucky, I.. you can.. you can stay here if you want? I mean I don't have anything set up and I don't even have a separate room, but I could sleep on the flo-"

"Ave, I'm not staying." Bucky looked up to see Ava who just stared back sadly. "I'm going to Europe, for at least a couple months. I just need to leave yet another place I've caused misery."

He was leaving New York. The New York that was once his home.

"I.. Let me come with you, please. I can help you filter through memories. We can try and get life back to how it.." Ava started but stopped when she saw Bucky shaking his head.

"I'm not the same person you remember." He stopped her, sadly, but Ava just fought back.

"And I'm not the same Ava. My job is now to hunt down the bad guy and take them out, not just sit and watch. I've grown up a bit since waking up."

"But think, Ave, who was the bad guy this time? Me. No matter how you look at it." Bucky turned to leave as Ava just grabbed onto his arm.

"You were never the bad guy. The bad guy was HYDRA, you must know that surely?" Ava pleaded for Bucky to stay or let her go with him.

"Give me your phone." Bucky asked calmly making Ava release her hands from his arm.

"What?" She asked, not sure what he meant.

"I'll put my number in it, and I promise you, as soon as I'm ready to start accepting my memories again, I'll text you." Bucky explained as Ava nodded. She slipped her mobile out of her pocket as Bucky began typing in his number. As he passed it back to Ava she saw he'd keyed in his name as 'hot european guy'. Looking up at Bucky with a smile he shrugged with almost the glimmer of a smirk on his lips, before turning away to leave again.

"Bucky, wait." Ava said and she leaned in to wrap her arms around him, hugging his torso. She felt him tense, before moving to embrace her tightly as they stood there for a moment. As Ava leaned back to finally let him go, she saw that he too had tears forming in his eyes. "Steve is looking for you, just watch out for that." She warned Bucky who nodded at her suggestion, obviously happy she wasn't planning on telling others about his visit.

"Look out for my message, okay?" He slipped out the door as Ava nodded him away, tears now falling slowly down her cheeks. She watched him speed forward on a motorbike making her both smile and cry as she shut the door again, leaning her head against it she began to sob. Just when she had got him back, when all her dream had come true, he had to leave again.

"I miss you." She whispered before turning to go back to the open file on the table, now accompanied by a daisy.

end of part 2