My Rule

Chapter 12

I tossed and turned a lot that night. The drama with Carl and the nightmares of me with the truck kept flowing in my head. I sat up and cracked my neck and back. That was one of the worst night sleeps I've ever had.

I look over at Carl and he was sitting at the bars toying with the chains. His blue eyes looked at me sad and unhappy like a little dog waiting to be adopted at the animal shelter. I knew it was going to be the right thing to do to go apologize.

I crawled over to the bars of my cell and sat down snapping my fingers to get Carl's attention. "Psss, Carl!" I whispered. He stopped what he was doing and looked at me with no emotion. "What?" He asked.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I overreacted a lot and I shouldn't have blown up in front of you. And I want you to know I'm sorry." I said. He stared at me for a while then sighed looking away. "I'm sorry too." He said. "Why? You shouldn't be sorry-"

"No I'm sorry Lilly. I should have woken you up when I went to go get Judith. I didn't think we were in danger and I'm sorry I didn't go back for you." He said. "Carl, it's okay, really. I'm sorry I was mean and I didn't mean to hit you. My actions took over my thoughts and I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Its okay. But that's not all I'm sorry for." I was confused. "What else are you sorry for?" I asked.

He sighed and sat up saying, "I'm sorry that I kissed you. I'm sorry that I like you and that I want you to be mine. It was wrong of me to think that you would like me back, and I let this go too far. I'm sorry that I made that mistake. And since I still love you, even though you don't love me back, I'm allowing us to be friends and friends only. As much as it breaks my heart, I'm allowing us to only be friends."

I felt tears brimming my eyes. "No Carl, no! I love you, I do! I love you and I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you felt that strongly about me. I'm sorry please forgive me." I said with some tears falling down. "I know you're just saying that so you can make me feel better. It's okay, you don't love me and I know that now."

"But Carl I do love you! I love you so much and you have no idea how much it hurts to have you say that to me." He shook his head and smiled a little, with glassy blue eyes. "Stop lying to me, Lilly. You dont have to lie to me to make me feel better. It actually makes me feel worse." Now I was getting so angry and upset. "But I do love you! I do I truly do! I made this rule when my mom died you see. It's that I can't fall in love with someone or else they'll die just like how my mother did! And I have isolated my feelings and my love for other people so that they won't get hurt risking their lives for me like how my mother did. But I can't take it anymore! I love you Carl Grimes and I need you! I need you and I LOVE YOU!" I cried with tears flooding down my cheeks. My face was red hit and my headache was worse than before. My heart was breaking, and all I saw in Carl's eyes was the glassy blue eyes that were just staring at me. And he only said one thing go me.......

"Prove it."