My Rule

Chapter 30

I felt terrible all night. I kept thinking about Enid and my past with her. When I woke up I went to the bathroom and just stood there in front of the mirror looking at myself. Pimple here and there, green eyes that looked dull and grey, my long brown hair past my butt, everything. I decided I was going to cut my hair.

I took the scissors and cut it a little bit above my butt now. No one would really notice anyway, so it didn't matter.

When I got out I put on my plaid shirt and black jeans and my boots. I put my hair in a ponytail and went to breakfast. Carl and Enid weren't there. Oh no.

"Where is Carl?" I asked Carol giving Judith her pacifier.

"He's outside by the gate. Why?"

"Just asking." I said turning away to go find him.

"Lilly!" She called. I looked back and my face asked her what. "Your hair looks pretty." She said smiling then going back to wash dishes. I smiled and ran out to the prison yard.

I saw Enid shooting walkers and Carl in the barn. I walked over to Carl breathing a little easier now. He looked at me and smiled sitting down.

"Morning babe" I said kissing his cheek. He returned the kiss and looked up at me. "Morning baby. Whatcha doing?" His accent was so cute and I loved it. "Looking at my sunshine." I said. He grinned and held my side and pushed me down to sit on his lap. I did so and faced him. We started making out and I smiled into the kiss. He squeezed my sides a little and rubbed them. Oh, I loved times like these.

He reached and grabbed some of my hair and stopped pulling away. "You cut it?" He asked. I nodded and then got a little down.

"You don't like it?" I asked worriedly. He shook his head. "No I love it! It looks better." He reassured me, "Not that it didn't look better before but it gives you shape." He said smirking. I smiled and he kissed me.

We heard footsteps behind us and it was Enid. I looked down to get up but Carl put his hands on my hips and firmly held them to his lap. "Hello Enid." He said. I smiled too.

"Hey Carl. Lilly... can I..... um, talk to you? Just for a second." She said. I looked back at Carl and he looked at me as if he asked if it was okay. I nodded and got up from his lap, but got pulled back down for a quick kiss. I kissed back grinning then walking with Enid.

We walked the perimeter of the prison talking and catching up. It was kind of awkward at some points though. She stopped and looked out at the hills.

"Lilly? Can I ask you something?" She asked still looking out. I hesitated feeling for the knife in my pocket. "Sure." "I want to make things right with you. I have been thinking about it ever since this started. I wasn't being very mindful about my actions, and-"

I rolled my eyes. "Enid. Its... okay." I said trying to change the subject. This is the last thing I wanted to hear, let alone have it certainly from her.

"No you have to hear this Lilly." She said looking at me. "I just let everything go to my head and I'm sorry for that." I scrunched up my nose looking away at the hills. "I'm not looking for your apology." I said. "I didn't ask you to accept it. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry." She said.

"What is the point of this Enid? You obviously want something from me, because you don't just tell someone this for the sake of it."

"I want your friendship." She said blankly.

I scoffed. "If that's what your looking for its not working. How can I believe you if you ruined part of my life then all of a sudden just come to me asking me for something. That's not you. I know the real you. I've seen the real you, even. So if you're looking for my friendship then I don't see any point in where this conversation is going."

She looked away sighing then back at me. "I'm sorry you feel that way." She said. "But I just want you to hear this. It's important that you know how I truly feel about having our friendship back."

"How can I trust you?" I spat. She then came up to me and... and... hugged me.

It was a long hug, and it felt different. She pulled away and said, "Please Lilly."

I thought for a bit, then looked at her. "Fine. But we are starting off slow. I can't just trust you like that. You have to earn it. Understood?" I asked.

"Understood."

We walked back in silence until I reached Glenn. "Lilly-" she said. I looked at her and she smiled saying, "See you at dinner." I smiled halfway and talked with Glenn.

"She's a pain, huh?

I spent the rest of my day with Jack. I even made him a sword that had his name engraved on the handle. He played with it all day until dinner. He was so adorable. He was like a brother to me.

When we got called for dinner I gave him a piggyback ride to the kitchen. We had some frog legs and pasta for dinner. When I was done, I washed up and fell on Carl while he was reading his comics.

"Aww babe you still read comicsss!!!" I said loudly. He rolled over and cupped my mouth with a small sly smirk on his lips. "Shhh." He said taking his hand and rubbing it down my body. He closed the space between us and started kissing my neck. I bit my lips and fought back a moan. I felt him play with the rim of my pants and slide his hands under my shirt.

We continued making out and eventually got tired and fell asleep.