America was now, what we like to call in the industry, absolutely white girl wasted. He was stumbling around the house, mumbling and grumbling like he was a zombie who's never eaten a taco before.
"Ame, are you ok?" Utah asked.
"No- wait, I want- no -f*ck- GO AWAY," America shouted, struggling to walk down the stairs.
"Ok no, you need to go to your room. It's a hazard for you to be anywhere but your bed," Utah said, grabbing America's arm and forcing him up the stairs.
"okahy fINE but justbecauseIwant to notcause you toldmeto," America slurred. Utah lead America to his room and to his bed.
"I'm gonna go make you some coffee... stay here, ok?" Utah said. America saluted.
"Aye aye cap- not captain f*ck youuuuuuuuu hey is that a chicken?!" America exclaimed, looking down at Cluck-Clucks unconscious body. Utah sighed and left the room, and America hummed to himself.
"Why is the chicken on its side....," America wondered to himself.
[hi-]
"AH NOT YET IM TOO YOUNG-," America shouted.
[calm down, I'm actually not here to hurt you this time]
"BRUH WHY DO YOU GOTTA KEEP SUCKIN MY CHICKEN OF HER LIFE SOUL THING," America exclaimed.
[quiet! Someone could her you!]
"Oh.... can you hear me?"
[f*cking hell are you drunk?]
"WELL YOU'RE A CHICKEN SOUL SNATCHER,"
[ok, ok, look, I have a proposition-]
"I don't wanna marry you,"
[...... not that kind of proposition]
"Ohhhhhh cool. What is it then?"
[... so, you're obsessed with my ex, I'm obsessed with my ex, you know what this means?]
"No, I will not f*ck you,"
[wha- ok, ok, maybe I was a little unclear.... I need you to get Mexico in a secluded area... maybe the house next door when nobody's home-]
"Are you about to suggest a threesome? I already said I won't f*ck you,"
[...... no...... look, all you have to do is get him alone- no sex involved- and I do the rest]
"Hmmmmmmm what's in it for me?" America asked.
[uhhhhhhhhh...... I can repair your friendship?]
"Mmmmmmmm sounds sketchy...... you know what? Nooo! You're a d*ck! Go away and give my chicken her soul back before I call the authorities!" America exclaimed.
[ugh- never mind.... you're just as stupid as Confederate said you'd be]
"WHAT?!" America exclaimed. He blinked, and he was gone. America looked down at cluck-cluck, who was still soulless. "NOOOOO MY CHICKEN!" America exclaimed. Utah walked in the room with a cup of coffee.
"Ame, are you ok? It sounded like you were talking to someone," Utah said.
"I.... f*ck what was his name.... creepy white guy," America said.
".... what?" Utah asked.
"Nonono not white as in like- peach or whatever- like, not white in the way you'd expect! He was like- blank- like-," America said. Utah set the coffee on America's bedside table and sat next to him.
"Ame, are you ok? Like, on a scale of one to ten how f*cked are you?" Utah asked.
"Mmmmmmmm seven," America said.
