Leopika Oneshot||Second Book Published

{Calming Down}

TW: Smoking, Mention of Panic Attack, Brief Suicidal Thoughts

Leorio leaned against the railing of his apartment. It was night. That kind of night when barely anyone was outside. A night where, if alone, you could hear yourself breathing. Leorio could. Though his breaths were rapid and deep. In between his index and middle finger, he held a cigarette with shaky hands. As the night may have been relaxing, he was not.

Not five minutes ago, he had had a panic attack. There were multiple reasons for the cause. Finals were coming up in med school, he couldn't visit Gon, or maybe because he didn't know where Killua was. All of those were possibilities, but Leorio knew made it the worse. Kurapika. Five times in two hours, Leorio called Kurapika. Kurapika usually declined, giving Leorio reassurance that he was still alive. But the last time, it was left ringing. For a fraction of a second, Leorio thought that his friend might answer. He didn't. He didn't answer but he didn't hang up like usual. Maybe he was dead. That's what caused the attack.

Leorio looked over the railing. He could feel the wind in his face. It was a long fall. A good chance of death. For a second, Leorio was tempted to jump over. To see if something would happen and who would care. There was a good chance no one would. Kurapika wouldn't care. Gon wouldn't even know. There was a good chance Killua wouldn't either. In conclusion, no one would miss him. He should just jump.

Leorio's thoughts were interrupted by laughter down below. It was a group of friends, supposedly back from a night out. One of them was Leorio's neighbor in the room to his left. Sally, wasn't it? Yes, it must've been her. She waved goodbye to her friends and looked up. She spotted Leorio and waved at him too.

Leorio didn't like Sally. She was too interested in his personal life. She would always ask questions bout his mental state and family. All things that he would tell Kurapika. Only Kurapika.

He waved back and turned. He was going to continue smoking. His hands were still shaking. The smoke calmed him. In a way, it reminded him of better days. When he only had two things to worry about. If he was going to eat that night and what his dad might do to him.

Leorio stayed on the balcony for a few more minutes. The only reason he even went back inside was because of Sally. She had walked in without permission. "Leorio," she called. "Are you still out there?" Leorio tapped his cigarette on the railing. He sighed and slid open his door. "I'm here," he said. "Why are you?" Sally smiled and pushed a strand of her ginger hair from her face. "I saw you over the railing," she said. "I thought I could stop by to say hi." You just waved. Leorio gave a forced smile. He hadn't been feeling like smiling lately.

"That's nice," he said. "But, I need to study so-" "I can help," she seemed desperate. Leorio sighed. "Well, I'm also expecting a call," he said, which was and was not a lie. "It's rather important and I would appreciate it if I was alone when I answered." Sally didn't care. She pushed past Leorio.

"Uhh, Sally," Leorio said. "I didn't invite you in." Sally turned to him and shrugged. "You really need to clean," she said. "Why are there so many alcohol bottles? Are you an alcoholic?" "Sally, please just get out. I don't like you." "I'm just trying to help." "I know. And I appreciate it. But I just need to be alone right now."

Sally rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to be your friend," she said. "Since yourself so lonely. And it seems all your other friends have abandoned you." That said, she walked out.

Leorio stood in the middle of his living room, shocked. He had always perceived Sally as an annoyingly sweet woman. Not like this. But he knew that she was right. He was lonely. His friends did abandon him. He had no one.

He turned and walked back out to the balcony. He needed another smoke.

As Leorio smoked he began to worry more and more. Even if Kurapika didn't pick up, he would do something.

Leorio looked through the screen door. Into his small, cramped, dirty, cheap living space. God, he hated it. It made him feel as if he didn't matter. Which, he probably didn't.

He looked at his coffee table. His phone was set on top, awaiting a phone call that would never come. But then it did.

Leorio's phone began to move on the table. His heart leaped in his chest, as he realized why. It was vibrating, from a call. He almost tripped over the air with how fast he ran inside. He picked up the phone and answered, not even checking to see who it was.

"Leorio?"

The moment Leorio heard Kurapika's voice he felt like crying. It was so comforting. Smooth. Sweet and familiar, absolutely lovely.

"Hey, Sunshine."