My Life And Rock'n'Roll

Chapter 41 - No Regrets

The last three months have gone by so quickly. Mum is doing really well at Spencer's Hall, her mobility has improved immensely and as a result she may be released much sooner than expected.....

Julian has found himself a job at a record shop and so far his relationship with John is a work in progress.....

My life is going as well it can be. Now Mum is feeling much better, I am able to think of my own future. I am slowly picking up the pieces after John's interview with the BBC, and I have recently got a job working as a Buying Consultant for Harrods.

Although it wasn't the type of job I wanted, I am actually enjoying a fresh challenge. Jim and I are doing well, and our friendship has blossomed into something more.....

We are now an official couple, and Julian gets along really well with him. On top of that, due to the monies from the exhibitions, I have purchased a nice three bedroom home, and it is much more comfortable there than where Julian and I were renting.

When Jim and I spend time together it is filled with joy and laughter. He is so considerate, and I feel special when I am with him.....

The physical part of our relationship is good, but I don't feel the passion for him I thought I would feel. I know why, and while I haven't seen John since I saw him at The Avenue, I know my mind and heart will always belong to John.

Knowing John will not be in my life again that way, I have had to ensure I move forward with my life, and perhaps one day we can get to a place where we can be friends.

As his divorce from Yoko is now official, tonight is John's interview broadcast with the BBC. While I am grateful Julian and I have seen it already, a small part of me wishes John could have opened up to me when we were married.

That part of my life still hurts, and always will, but I know I made the right decision back then. John will never know how hard it was for me to let him go, but after seeing what he had to say I have no regrets......

Since my first meeting with Pattie and George, I am in frequent touch with Pattie. She took my advice, and she and George are trying to work out their problems.....

We talk regularly, and see each other as often as we can. I have regular nights out with the girls, and they all have agreed not to say too much about me to their partners, as I have heard The Beatles may be reuniting and I don't want anything about my life getting back to John.

I am starting to get my life on track, and I don't want to dwell on the past.....
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Time has gone by so quickly these last three months. I have been catching up with old friends, and those of whom I have hurt and left behind.....

Paul, George, Ringo and I have sorted out our differences, and we are talking about reuniting as The Beatles, and I am spending some much needed time with Jules.....

We are working on our relationship, but disappointingly I still haven't seen or spoken to Cyn. When I ask Jules about her he tells me she is doing well, and life is much better now that Lil's health is improving. I want to see Cyn and talk to her, but I feel like Jules is keeping something from me.....

Last week it finally happened, I am free. My divorce is final! It is still sinking in, but my lawyers have informed me I am a single man once again.....

While part of me is sad, for the most part I am happier than words will ever express. Luckily, my lawyers did a top job, and Yoko had no other option but to agree to my terms.

Now that I am able, tonight is the night it all comes out. I spoke to Andy Peebles as soon as my divorce was final, and my lawyers have given the go ahead for the BBC to show my interview. As far a I am aware, the interview will be shown in prime time, while there is meant to be a newspaper article coming out tomorrow to coincide with tonight's broadcast.

In amongst all the drama, I made sure to call my good friend Harry Nilsson to let him know what has happened, and asked him to let Fred know and again thank him so much for everything he has done.....

Harry is very happy with Fred as his assistant, and I will be forever grateful to Fred. If it wasn't for him, I might still have been in my loveless marriage back in The Dakota wallowing in my misery.

I am so proud of myself, since I have been back here in England I haven't been stoned once, and in truth I haven't felt the need to smoke. I am finding my inner strength, and my life is finally starting to work out....
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Life is getting better for me. I have found myself a job at a record shop which keeps me busy plus I have been spending time with my Dad.

To my surprise, he is doing everything he can to be there for me, and I am appreciating the effort he is putting in. I haven't told him about Mum being with Jim, as I don't think it is my place to tell Dad what is happening in Mum's life - he chose to walk away from Mum, and as Mum is now happy with Jim I am not going to spoil this for her.....

Dad asks about Mum every time I see him, and I know he cares about her. Sadly, I think he has realised what he had in Mum and what he has lost, but, I can't and won't get involved. My loyalty is with Mum, and if Dad wants to contact Mum he will have to make the effort himself - something I don't think he has the courage to do, at least not right now anyway.....