Watch my Step (Friend Series #4)

Chapter 17

When you're aware that you're going to commit a mistake and yet you still choose to commit, I guess that's the biggest mistake a man could ever commit.

I was once dreamed and thought up a plan of my own wedding. At sa tingin ko, lahat ng babae ay dumaan sa ganoong yugto ng buhay nila. Sa parte ko, nangarap ako noong bata pa lang ako. When I was still oblivious of the reality.

All I could picture in mind was an ideal wedding. So, I was dreaming of a wedding in church, bells were ringing as I walk down the aisle to the altar, flowers were scattered all over. I was wearing a lovely wedding gown, holding my favorite flowers in bouquet and taking the time of my life as I walk to my dashing groom.

But of course, none of those shits happen. Ngayon ko rin lang napagtanto na wala nga pala akong paboritong bulaklak. I couldn't stop but laugh at my innocence and ignorance back then. My plan was very man-made. Well, could you blame me? I was young and easily fooled by the romantic movies I had watched.

"Tep." Alric's voice brought me back to my senses.

I looked at him with creased forehead.

"Seryoso ka?" he asked, a bit tensed. He kept on fidgeting on his seat while we're waiting for the Almedarezes.

Siya lang ang tanging kaibigan na pinagsabihan ko tungkol sa bagay na ito. He's the most talkative friend I have but when it comes to keeping things like this, damn, you'll just get surprised with what he can do just to keep your secret safe. I trust him more than Ry and France. Ganyan lang 'yan pero siya ang taong pinagkakatiwalaan ko ng lubos.

He muttered curses when we saw Kai together with his parents walking towards our table. We're at the same place where our marriage had been tackled and arranged. I roamed my eyes around the private room and felt nothing so special about it. I don't even felt something so special on my very own wedding day.

Today is supposed to be my wedding day and yet my parents weren't here. I only have Alric with me to testify our marriage along with Kai's parents. It was only yesterday when my parents flew to Singapore for an important event. Yeah, more important than this I guess. I am not surprised though. I didn't expect more from my parents anyway.

The moment I agreed with this, it's already a done deal for my Dad kaya hindi niya kakitaan ng importansya ang magpakita pa sa araw na ito. Sometimes, it is much better to think less from a person rather than to have expectations and get disappointed at the end. I have trained myself to think that way and I was confident enough to conclude that I was doing it just right.

"Just kick me if you have changed your mind. I won't think twice to get you out of here." mabilis na bulong sa akin ng kaibigan at tumayo para batiin ang mga bagong dating.

I stood up as well and plastered a fake smile on my face. Kaagad akong niyakap ni Tita Geneva nang makalapit sa akin. While Tito Nick just gave me a half hug.

Wala akong nararamdamang pagka disgusto sa mag-asawang Almendarez. Kung mayroon mang tao na dapat kong kagalitan, hindi sila iyon. They're thoughtful enough to hear me out. Ako lang itong ayaw magsalita dahil alam kong mapupunta rin sa wala ang mga salita ko. Hindi rin sila nagkulang sa pagpapaalala sa akin na huwag magmadali at pag-isipang mabuti ang pagpapakasal. But the very moment that I said that I'll marry their son, my decision was already fixed.

I looked at Kai and my fake smile slowly faded. Wearing a white long sleeve shirt and black slacks is my groom. My husband. I almost flinch with that thought.

He's not wearing studs on his ear and any accessories except from his watch. He looks very formal today which is so unlike him.

His eyes are telling me something I couldn't fathom. Sa bawat segundong lumilipas ay mas lalo lamang naghuhumerentado ang puso ko. It's not the excitement and delight. That's for sure.

I looked at him with sharp eyes. If he's mad at me, I am way more mad at him! If he feels bad about it, well, I am too! Sisiguraduhin ko na hindi lang ako ang magiging miserable sa kasal na 'to.

We're both players but I'll play wiser. I had the will to start this match, the more I have the power to end it winning. I hate him. I hate him for my father likes him. I despised him for making me feel how unlovable was I.

Marriage. This marriage is the best way to get back at him. Even if it means of sacrificing my own freedom.

A side of my lips rose when I saw how badly he wanted to let his anger out.

How does it feel Kai? To marry the woman you have disposed? To chain with the woman you have casted away?

Bumitaw lang ako sa aming titigan nang bumukas ang pintuan. The Judge, holding a black handbag went in. Ito ang umupo sa kabisera katapat ni Tito Nick. Pagkatapos ang batiaan ay kaagad nitong binuksan ang dalang bag. Wala itong sinayang na oras at sinimulan na ang pakay.

Alric kept on coughing but I decided to ignore him. I know what he's doing. He probably thinks I will change my mind but no. They might think that I am acting momentarily to do this but I have thought of it lots of times.

I am not doing this because I am left with no choice. In fact, I do have a choice. Gustuhin ko mang umayaw, magagawa ko 'yon. I can rebel and oppose to my father but I decided not to. Hindi dahil sa gusto kong maikasal sa lalaking kaharap kundi sa pagod na akong magrebelde. I am exhausted from shouting my unheard voice. I just want to submit myself to my father so as to save myself from his scoldings and beatings.

The Judge handed me the contract and I signed it immediately. Rinig ko ang sunod-sunod na pagmura ni Alric sa aking tabi pero hindi ko ito pinansin. Mahina pa niyang sinipa ang paa ko sa kalagitnaan ng aking pagpipirma ngunit hindi iyon nakapagpapigil sa'kin.

Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay gulat ang kanilang ekspresyon.I smiled, assuring them that I am fine. Kung titingnan ang mag-asawa ay mukhang ayaw pa nila akong maikasal sa anak nila. Na para bang hindi nila ito pinagplanuhan.

It was May Day Eve when we got married. There's nothing so special with that day. Ang totoo niyan, pagkatapos ng pirmahan ay umalis na ako at umuwi kina Alric. He joined me with my downfall. Even just for a night, gusto kong makalimot dahil alam kong bukas na bukas ay iba na ang magiging buhay ko.

I am not just the playgirl Step, I am married to an Almendarez.

"Mrs. Step Almendarez?"

I laughed inwardly as I puffed a smoke. Skillfully, I flicked my finger twice onto the stick of the cigar that was clipped between my fingers. Nahulog ang kaunting abo sa malaking batong kinauupuan dahil sa aking ginawa.

Estefania Alaina Saldiviar Almendarez.

Even then and now, I still despised my name. Dumoble nga lang ngayon ang pagkamuhi na nararamdaman sa sariling pangalan dahil sa kanyang apelyido. That's why I never use his surname. Not even once.

I smirked as I looked at the stars sprinkled onto the dark sky. The moonlight glistened on waves giving me a scenic view of the vast sea in front of me. Malalim ang aking paghinga habang iniisip kung ano na naman ang gagawin ko pagkatapos ng gabing ito.

My Architect: Where are you?

I rolled my eyes and hastily grasped the bottle of liquor beside me. Ang katahimikang nararamdaman ay mabilis na nawala at binulabog ng kanyang mensahe. Sinubukan kong balewalain pero sa huli ay natalo pa rin ako.

I muttered curses as I went to my car. Mabilis ang pagpapatakbo ko habang pabalik ako sa siyudad. I looked outside the window and thought of the moon. Kung titingnan, animo'y sumusunod talaga sa'kin. It's like watching me from afar.

Somehow, it reminds me of him.

A week before our marriage, he already flew to Barcelona along with Ace to practice his profession there. He comes home every month. Hindi nga lang nagtatagal dahil sa trabahong naiiwan sa Barcelona. Mas mabuti nga rin iyon para hindi kami magkita. Mas gusto ko na wala siya rito.

Mabilis akong nakarating sa basement ng gusali kung saan ako tumutuloy. His car was parked beside my parking area.

My hunch was right. He's really here. Umuwi siya. Kumunot ang noo ko habang nasa loob ako ng elevator. Kinuha ko ang cellphone at tiningnan sa calendar kung kailan ang huling uwi niya. Tatlong linggo pa lang ang nakalipas noong huling uwi niya.

After punching the passcode, the door of his penthouse clicked opened. Bukas ang lahat ng ilaw kaya alam kong nandito nga siya.

Bumukas ang pinto ng silid ko. Kai wearing nothing but a white towel showed up. Abala ito sa pagpapatuyo ng buhok gamit ang isa pang puting tuwalya. His brown locks gets darker and longer.

I couldn't stop my gulp when our eyes met. Mabilis akong nag-iwas ng tingin nang may maramdamang kakaiba.

I, then, again reminded myself that I was the one who lit the match, I won't let myself get burned with the fire I've ignited myself.