Be Still My Heart

Breaking Distance

Y/N POV-

"I did that? How?" Wanda extends her arm towards me and rotates it. I reach forward to touch but she pulls back. "No, you are not healing this one too." She pushes her sleeve back down her arm.

"Wanda, if I did it, let me heal it." I reach forward taking her hand in mine. "Please," She drops her guard and lets me push back up her sleeve. I wrap my hand over the mark and close my eyes envisioning the middle of my chest like I did for Steve's. I already can't feel there might as well not create a new spot.

I open my eyes but there is no light emitting from my hand. Wanda looks down at her arm then up at me. I pull away my hand but the mark is still there. "It didn't work," my words drop off as I say them. I place my hand over the mark to try again. Nothing. I envision it going on my back. Nothing. It won't heal.

"Y/N," Wanda places her other hand on top of mine to pull it away. "Let it go, it is okay." She drags her sleeve down to cover her arm. "How did I even do that? I can't remember what happened."

I want her closer to me, to lay back and have her sleep curled up against me but I don't know how I marked her. My brain hasn't released the memories. I should keep my distance. Wanda reaches forward to take ahold of my hand but I pull back.

She retracks it back to her lap and tries to hide her hurt expression with a small cough. "Steve mentioned yin and yang. The project name, everything, it lines up. We think that you might be able to drain like Drew and he can heal like you." Drew said that Hayde didn't know everything. This must be what he meant. How he said I could have had all this.

Wanda looks uncomfortable sitting across from me but not touching. She is fiddling with the pocket on the hoodie. I run my finger along the cut on my hand. It is beginning to bruise along the outside of it. I really smacked it hard on the table.

"Do you want some Advil?" Wanda pushes off the bed and walks into my bathroom already knowing where I keep it. She doesn't wait for me to answer. She shakes out three and hands them to me with a water. "Thanks." I toss them to the back of my throat and swallow but Wanda doesn't sit back down.

"Do you want me to go?" This isn't going to be what she wants to hear. "It is probably best if I try and relax. I can hopefully recover some memories." I just need her to leave. The urge to reach out and touch her, to hold her, is too strong. "Okay, um," Wanda walks over to my door but hesitates to leave just yet.

"Just text me if you need something, okay?" I nod my head before she opens the door and walks through. It clicks shut behind her echoing in the quiet room. I pull my knees to my chest then look at my hands palms up.

I hurt her. I hurt her and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I can't heal it probably because I was the one to make the mark. I need to keep my distance. What if I do it again to her or anyone else here?

Natasha POV-

I catch Wanda looking down at her arm periodically throughout the day. After she left Y/N's room, she followed Peter and me into the living room to watch a movie. If I asked her, I bet she wouldn't be able to tell me the plot though. Her mind is thinking about the person one hundred feet down the hall behind a closed door.

Stark's cooks made dinner but we only made small talk while eating. Y/N hasn't left her room since earlier today. "I think I am going to call it an early night. I'll see you guys in the morning." Wanda puts her dishes away in the dishwasher then does exactly that. I hear her door click shut behind her.

"I wish there was something we can do." Peter is playing with the last couple bites of food on his plate with his fork. "I know, but this is something that they are going to have to work out themselves. Y/N just keeps finding out more about her past, a past that up until about a week ago she was lead to believe was happy and normal not Hydra centric."

Peter nods his head slowly and continues playing with his food. "How about you make her a plate of food and I can bring it to her?" That gets him more excited. "Okay, I can do that!" He finishes eating then makes the plate of food before putting everything away into the fridge.

I drop my plate into the dishwasher then grab the plate of dinner off the counter. "Wait, we have some cake left too, just a little." He gets the last bit of cake and scoops it onto another plate. He just wants to help them so desperately. This is all he can do so he wants to do it to the best of his ability.

"There," I take the second plate from him and turn towards the bedrooms. "I'll see you tomorrow, Peter." I stop in front of Y/N's door and adjust the plates in my hands to knock. "Hey, Y/N? It's Nat."

I hear some shuffling behind the door then it opens. "I brought you some dinner, Peter insisted on making a plate for you." Y/N takes the plates from me and steps back allowing me inside the room.

She shuts the door behind us and then moves to sit back down on her bed. I walk around to the end of her bed and sit down on the edge. "Want to talk about it?" I keep my back to her as I hear her fork clink on the plate. She stays silent. I look over my shoulder at her and see her eyes begin to water.

She wipes away a fallen tear then looks down at her lap before speaking, "I hurt her." Y/N sets the main plate of food down next to her then drops back so her so is resting against her headboard. She brings her hands up to her head and runs them through her hair.

"You didn't mean to." She lets out a huff of air. "That doesn't change that I still did it. I don't even know how. I don't, I can't, I just," her words are coming out shaky as she works herself up more. "Do you remember anything yet?" She nods her head.

"Bits and pieces but nothing important. Like I remember the living quarters that Drew and I stayed in. I remember some of the tests they ran to see what our abilities were. But I can't remember what happened in my dream that lead me to," her words get quieter, "draining Wanda."

I pick up her plate of food and hand it back to her. "Speaking of Wanda, she's going to kill me if you don't eat." Y/N rolls her eyes but takes it back from me putting a bite of food in her mouth. "Pushing her away is not the answer, you get that right?"

Y/N nods her head a couple times then swallows. "I don't trust myself. I have these supposed memories that are only flooding my dreams leaving me," she lifts her hand to show me her cut up hand, "with a busted hand and," she motions to the wall behind her, "hurting the woman that I love."

Y/N's eyes go wide after saying that last part. "Have you told her yet?" She takes another bit of food and shakes her head no one time. "Why not?" She lets out a small laugh. "Seriously, it's been like a week. I don't want to scare her off. I just, know I guess but I don't want to push her away."

She readjusts how she is sitting and finishes the last couple of bites on her plate before moving to the cake. "So, what do you call what you are doing right now?" She shrugs her shoulders. "Protecting her, I couldn't live with myself if I did something in my sleep to her. Until I know more, this is the safest option for her."

I push myself off her bed but stand there for a moment. "At least talk to her, don't shut her out, Y/N. This is what she was talking about. You block people out until you break. Don't get to that point again. It hurts more than just you."

Y/N POV-

Nat leaves my room and shuts the door behind her. I set the cake plate down next to me and lay back with my head on my pillow. I grab my phone off my side table and pull up Wanda's contact hovering over the text bar with my thumbs for a moment before tossing it down next to me leaving it empty.

I roll out of bed and make it to my door before I can stop myself. I stop in front of her door with my hand on the knob. It is going to hurt her more if I block her out.

I twist the knob slowly and push myself into her room. The light is already off in her room but I doubt she is sleeping. I can see the outline of her back as she lays on her side. I whisper, "Babe?" She rolls over to face me but doesn't say anything.

I walk into the room and sit down on the edge of her bed. "Wanda, I," she grabs my arm and pulls me forward into the bed. "Not right now, just come lay with me." I crawl under the covers and Wanda pushes herself into me resting her face against my chest. She grabs ahold of my shirt and holds it in her hand as I keep her held tightly against me.

She nuzzles into me letting out a small sigh as I kiss the top of her head. "Be here when I wake up, okay?" I settle my head down into the pillow. "I will."