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( TW: SELF HARM, NEGLECT, DEPRESSION. )
THOMAS loved being the center of attention. That's why he had a big friend group in second grade, everyone liked him, they wanted to be him. Each time he excepted his father to pick him up but no, it was his mom. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Around seventh grade, Tom began to lose his friends because he hanged out with Olivia too much. So, he lost them all. He didn't care, it wasn't like his parents were gonna hug and comfort him. "Happy birthday to Thomas.." Oli sang as she sat the two cupcakes down, both with candles on them.
They were in his room, blowing out the candles. He looked and watched as Samantha's friends and his family were there, watching her blow the candle out on the cake. Olivia frowned, "forget them. You're a teenager now, let's eat the cupcakes."
Olivia always tried her best to cheer Thomas's up as months passed, but nothing seemed to work. Pretty soon he was having trouble get out of bed and rarely started to eat. Surprisingly, his parents worried and took him to the doctor.
Tom heard the cries from his mom, probably thinking he had cancer. But that wasn't true. Sure, Thomas never mentioned or talked about it but he always knew what he'd get. From dealing with neglect, feeling the need to run away or something was always brought up in his mind. Sam, his twin sister always tried as well.
At the age of fourteen, Tom's depression increased higher than usual. It got worse but he never told his parents. "You okay?" Sam spoke up from her phone. Tom's head shot up from looking at the floor, "mhm."
"I'm gonna pee." He lies, standing up and walking to the bathroom. It was another bad day. Tom was supposed to go shopping at the mall with his dad, he was excited about it too. But he cancelled because Samantha wanted a sleepover.
I guess everything still got payed for, it was rough. He went though bullying at school, failing as a son. Thomas was in horrible situations, he felt trapped like he could get out but never tried. He opens the medicine cabinet, pulling out a pair of scissors.
Thomas glanced at himself in the mirror, holding the tool. He promised he wouldn't do it, but he deserved it more than anything.
It led to self harming a couple times, to it becoming his daily routine whenever something had happens. It wasn't his fault, he just couldn't control it. It felt like a release, something good.
He did it in his wrists and arms, then moving to some parts of his thighs. Thomas didn't think he was ever gonna get caught since he never got the attention. "Hey, can i borrow your charger? Cant find mine." Samantha spoke as she knocked. "Uh...yeah."
Tom went over and grabbed it from his bed, revealing a little bit of his sleeve. Samantha saw the cut, "jeez, how'd you get that?" She asks, reaching over and pulling it up a bit. That's where she saw many more, Thomas freaked and slapped her hand.
"Here. You should go." He says quickly, "Tom. What happened?" She asks, worried. "It's nothing. Oil's cat scratched me a a lot." He lies. Samantha had her arms crossed, grabbing the charger and leaving the room.
Tom sighed of relief, but Sam actually told her parents which is what caused him to be put in therapy. "You think that's gonna help me?" He asked as him and his parents were having a talk in the kitchen.
"Tom, it's for the best.." Daniel sighs, looking at his wife. "We're worried. End of discussion you're doing this wether you like it or not." Amanda spoke sternly. Thomas rolled his eyes, pounding his hand on the counter before stomping angrily to his room.
Moral of the story, therapy doesn't do shit besides make you have trust issues.
Thomas looks up as he finished the line, "are you finished now?" His boyfriend complained from his bed. Tom rolled his eyes as he shut the book, "it only took me.." He glanced at his watch. "Forty-minutes."
He rolled his eyes before going towards him, he wraps his arm from behind and watched his boyfriend put the journal in a box. "You aren't gonna publish that?" Miguel questions. Tom laughs, "yes. This is like not even an essay..plus I'm not opening this till Im happily married with one stupid devil baby." He jokes.
Miguel and him chuckle, then both of them went in for a kiss. They both lay on the bed together, "heard you and your dad are gonna hang out tomorrow." Miguel spokes as the two cuddled in bed.
"Yeah..hopefully it'll turn out okay." Tom shrugged. "If it doesn't, you're allowed to rant to me." He says. "You know I will." They both chuckle before kissing once again. The difference in this is Tom now feels way happier, like the past was a sign.
He wants to be alive now.
- LIV! okay i know i do this a lot but...
20 FUCKING K?????
i love ya'll so mf much omg *virtual hug*
this is honestly my favorite book of mine, miguel and thomas hold such a special place in my heart. thank you sm guys, it sucks it'll be a while but part 4 comes out this year!! so that's good. love ya'll, once again thank u sm <33 - liv
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