Vanilla

Chapter 45

"I am very much uncomfy-" Lexie points to both of us. "Why do we have to sit in the back? I want to sit at the front so everyone's perfume doesn't suffocate me."

We were sitting on the bus for our first field trip of this year, heading to a college tour-not like Lauren and I need to go anyway.

But sadly we do, it's a graded field trip. We have to write one thousand words on what we learned during this tour.

My only concern is Lexie's attention span-will she even focus during the trip?

"Then plug your nose," I said to Lexie, slouching in my seat.

"I would love to Dani, but damn the stench is too intolerable right now." Lexie crossed her arms over her chest and grumbled.

Melanin rolled her eyes. "This is what happens when someone gets their period during a field trip."

"Shut up." Lexie looked at Lauren, who is currently fast asleep next to me. "I'm surprised that she's not wearing any makeup."

"She stayed up all night finishing her group project, so she was too tired to do it," I said.

"Poor thing, she can't wear one hundred dollars of beauty enhancement," Lexie said sarcastically.

"Take your attitude to sleep, Lexie," I said, looking out my window.

"My fucking cramps won't let me."

I sighed, "Ce cul grincheux-"

"Speak English."

"Melanin, can you be a stress reliever and massage her?"

"Why me? Is it because I'm sitting next to her?" Melanin asked, her under-eye bags showed her tiredness.

I pouted. "Melanin, my dearest best friend, the friend I lend chocolate to in between classes-"

"I got it!" Melanin leaned against the window and repositioned Lexie to lean against her chest.

"Excuse me, I was-" Lexie's words trailed off when Melanin started to massage her abdomen. Lexie looked like she was the best relief in her life and closed her eyes.

I held my thumbs up to Melanin. "Thanks."

Melanin rolled her eyes. "You're lucky I know how to do this."

"I owe you one."

"You owe me a forged pass to give to my teacher."

I squinted my eyes in her direction. "What for?"

"To sneak off to my car and take a nap in it."

"Just drink coffee or soda to stay awake."

"I'd be chugging the life out of them and still feel tired."

"I give up, I'll do it," I said, looking away from her to the window.

"Thanks."

~

The bus turned quiet.

We were on our way back from the tour - exhausted, tired, sleepy. All of the above.

I looked at the gravestones that we were passing by, quietly mourning my grandma's passing.

I accepted her death, I did.

One thing I didn't accept was myself.

I can still hear my conversation with my therapist in my mind-nagging me.

'Dani, you can't just bottle up emotions all the time.'

Yes, I can.

'You're finally opening up to everyone, don't stop doing that.'