Vanilla

Chapter 29

I arrived at the hospital my grandma was staying at, and my eyes were staring at a motionless body that painfully resembled my grandma.

Her wrinkles, her hair, her figure - it really looked like her.

"H-hey, where's my grandma?" I asked the nurse in a low voice as if I said it any louder my heart would hear.

"That is her, Miss Hills."

I point to the body. "B-But my grandma isn't dead, she's alive, she's at home and tending to her garden."

The nurse looked away and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

I fell to my knees and let the hot tears stream down my face. "It's a lie, m-my grandma isn't dead..." I clenched my hands into fists and began to hit the ground repeatedly. "SHE'S NOT DEAD! SHE'S NOT DEAD! SHE'S NOT FUCKING DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME? SHE'S ALIVE!"

I sobbed and crawled to her bed. "Not dead...she's not dead..."

I held her cold hand in between my warm ones and pressed it against my wet cheek. "G-grandma...why did you die on me? I thought you were here till the end of time. I knew you were old and all, b-but we have too many memories together."

I heard the nurse leave by the sound of her heels clicking against the tiled floor, the sound fainted away into the busy hallway.

I looked at her-her eyelids were closed, her body...still, and her hair which almost resembled mine...soft but I knew it would rot away with her soon.

I let go of her hand, pulled back the covers, and crawled into her cold bed, and cuddled her corpse to savor my last minutes with her.

I didn't want to let go of her soul just yet, just five more minutes...please...five more minutes.

I could still smell her old signature perfume she wears rarely, but it stuck on her as a way to remember her. I always see the bottle half-empty on her dresser, and she never used it unless she wanted to smell good that day.

Unlike Lauren, I never bothered to inhale and exhale her scent and overlooked it as any old cheap product from the store shelf.

How wrong I was.

Her lovely scent is what welcomed me home after a long day at school, it's what lets me know she's in the house, it's what I fell asleep to when I was a kid.

Her arms are so warm and tell me that she'll keep me safe.

Now that she's gone-whose arms will I get embraced by to help me smile? Who's scent will I smell when I get home and automatically think of home? Who will tell me to study to make it into University? Who will cook that stupid casserole dish for me?

Who's going to give me that elderly love I need?

"Grandma...I'm sorry for taking you for granted...please don't leave me so soon...I need you still."

A soft giggle escaped my lips. "Hey...grandma? Remember when I always slept with my shoes on in bed, and you would scold me for walking through your house with them on? Why aren't you alive and scolding me for wearing them now?"

I buried us both under the cover and let myself cry hoping this was all a nightmare. And by the time I awoke, my grandma would be at the side of my bed yelling at me to wake up for school.

She always hated it when I missed the bus or missed one day of school.

She was the best grandma ever in my opinion.

She was the only grandma I needed in my life.

Now she'll be on her way to the heavens above.

Fuck this.

~

I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder. My eyes fluttered open, and I looked up to see Nyree standing there with a sad expression.

It didn't click in until I felt the stiff body beneath me, and I started crying all over again.

"Dani, you have to get up, you need to go to after-school suspension."

"I'm not leaving her side," I said hugging my grandma.

"Dani...she's gone. You have let her go."

"You'll be gone too, you know!"

"What?"

"You were hired as her nurse, but now that she's gone you don't have to stick around me. Right?"

"Didn't I say it before, Dani?"

"Huh?"

Nyree ran her fingers through my hair and tears came down her cheeks. "You're like a little sister to me, I'm not going to leave you."

I shook my head. "What if you do leave?"

"I'm not, Dani. I promise. Please...come here. Let's go."

I slowly sat up and eyed Nyree. "Where am I supposed to live now?"

"You have me, your dad, but then again - you have the money to live on your own."

"Technically I can't until I graduate."

"Who do you want to live with?"

I shrugged. "My dad and I are on good enough terms for me to live with him but I never asked about where he lived or who he lived with."

"Do you want to try living with him?"

"Can I get a few days or more to think about it?"

"Yes you can, I don't mind you living with me, Dani."

"Then..." I held my arms up. "Carry me to the car, I don't want to walk."

"How light do you think you are?"

"Light enough."

"Fine," Nyree puts her arm under my legs and under my back to lift me into her arms. "Don't squirm around, got it?"

"Mhm," I said and took one more look at my grandma.

Nyree walked us out of the room and held me close - I could sense her praying in her mind that everything will be okay.

In my mind, I hoped for the same exact thing.