Vanilla

Chapter 22

"Dani?" Nyree called my name for the tenth time, but my attention was on the wall across the room.

Ever since I received that letter from the therapist I was out of it. My mind was wandering all over the place. From the fact, my own parents hid from me that I have a sister and that she has some things to tell me about my own mom.

Her letter was correct. I always thought it was annoying and weird that my mom was talked about as if she was someone important.

People that worked in her work area that died will never be mentioned again after a few days.

My name is being said right along with hers, and it's weird that each passing year leads to more rumors. As if something happened to have my name mentioned again right along with hers.

"Dani, you have to eat something." Nyree sighed seeing me not budge. "It's been two days, and the doctors said you've been neglecting your food. Please eat something."

I slowly look at Nyree. "But I'm not hungry."

"You said that when you were out of it back then too, I'm not falling for it again. Please eat something, Dani."

"I'll eat when Lauren decides to visit me," I said as my breath hitched in my throat from the mention of her name out loud.

It's been days upon days since Lauren came to see me. I haven't smelt her sweet scent of vanilla in so long that my calm composure is fading. She helped me smile by being present next to me. But now that she is avoiding me-I can't find any excuse to smile or do anything.

"Dani..." Nyree's expression saddens. "I hate seeing you down like this. I know Lauren doesn't mean to ignore you, but please take care of yourself."

"I would rather starve."

"I wish there was a way I could get you to eat." Nyree wraps her arms around herself as she tears up. "Fuck I feel useless."

I scoff. "You cussed. I rarely hear you cuss around me."

"I know...but I feel like you don't need me anymore. I want to act as your big sister so badly but I can't do anything right. I'm in college and working as your grandmother's nurse at the same time. I'm trying so hard to do things right. I want to at least help you."

I sighed as I felt guilty. I didn't mean to make Nyree feel like this. I'm just depressed. I forgot that Nyree is trying to be closer to me. I'm such a dumbass. "Uh, um..." I felt embarrassed asking her but I wanted to. I took a deep breath before saying. "You can...f-feed me."

Nyree looked up at me. "What? Feed you?"

"Y-yes while we talk about stuff. Nothing serious but something we can share together."

Nyree's eyes gleamed as she smiled softly. "Okay."

She pulled the tray closer to her as she started to feed me my food. "So...um...I don't know what to talk about..."

I swallowed my food before I spoke. "Anything is fine."

She feeds me some more food. "You've reached the age where teenagers do things like...sex."

I almost choked on my food when she said that.

She goes wide-eyed. "Oh sorry! Is it too embarrassing to talk about? I thought you were comfortable about the subject by now."

"I-It's fine. I was just caught off guard by it. I can talk about it."

She sighed in relief. "Okay so...are you and Lauren sexually active?"

"We are."

"I think it's a bit too soon for you two to do those things."

"I know but we did it anyway. I guess my best excuse is because we were curious."

"Just try not to be reckless, Dani."

"I am being careful."

"Good."

"Hey, Nyree?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any parents?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"No reason. I just wanted to ask."

"You want to know how family life feels?"

I flinched as if she hit the bullseye.

"It's okay to ask, Dani. I'll tell you."

"Oh uh..."

"Family life feels like an amazing thing to experience every day. It gives you this warm feeling inside your heart as you spend your days with people you love. A mom, A dad, A sister, A brother, etc. As long as you love them. They're family."

"But I don't have many memories with my mother."

"A mother doesn't have to be the one that birthed you. It can be someone that has that same energy."

"Melanin's mother is like my mother somewhat," I said. "She made sure I did my homework when I was younger and did everything for me, while my grandma was in the hospital."

"Then you have experienced parental love before."

"Hmm, I guess I have."

"Speaking of your grandmother."

"What?"

"She's back in the hospital again."

"Again?" I groan. "I doubt I can be home alone now that I have entered the hospital for amnesia and I'm on health watch."

"That's why I came here to tell you that you'll be staying at my place in the meantime."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I have class the day you are supposed to be discharged. So I need you to call someone to stay with till morning at least."

"I could try to contact someone."

"I'll pay them back once I receive my check."

"It's fine, Nyree. I'm sure they won't mind."

Nyree stands and grabs the tray with the empty dishes on it. "Thanks, Dani. I'll be back tomorrow I hope."

"Don't overwork yourself, Nyree."

"I won't, Dani."

Nyree left my room without another word leaving me deciding on who to call. I picked up my cell phone. I eyed my contact list. I didn't have many numbers to choose from.

I dialed Melanin's number. Her mom answered saying her phone was taken for a week. Turns out Melanin failed her homework assignment. Shit, I feel her pain. Failing one assignment is a ticket to hell.

I dialed Lexie's number next. She answered quickly. I asked her if it's alright to spend the night there as soon as I'm discharged till Nyree can get me.

"Sure Dani, my parents love when you come over. Want me to come to pick you up?"

"That'll be awesome, Lexie. Thanks."

"Anything for you Dani. I owe you anyway."

"Lexie..."

"Call me when you're about to be discharged so I can come, alright?"

"Alright."

After we hung up, I sighed as I found myself rereading my messages that were left on seen. Lauren was ignoring me and I couldn't reach her. I kept texting her saying I don't hate her or it's not her fault.

But in the end - she's blaming herself.

If only there was a way for me to see her, but I know she told her parents not to let me inside their home if I ever visited.

Dammit.