Persphyni : I am Destruction

35

I felt Death tugging on my hand, smiling back at me as he led me down. Further into the dark. Further back to where I belong.

It's been a long time old friend.

A small squeeze on my hand in response to the thought pulled a peaceful smile to my face. This is it.

This is the day I pay for my sins, this is the day I die.

I've thought about how this day would come, ever since I was back on the Ark. I've escaped so many times I'm starting to think I've been charged with eternal life to undo my wrongs. But, apart of me doesn't want to die while the other just wants to be. Whatever the "be" may look like.

I've lost feeling of the cold river, completely locked in the depths of my mind as I envisioned me following Death down into the darkness.

These images were in my head as in real life my body froze, my heart slowed, and my lungs stopped pumping air. I was suffocating in the cold water as my body continued to be dragged downwards.

But I didn't worry, I couldn't worry. All I could do was see what fate had laid in store for me. The wound on my side was profound and the alternating arrow wounds on my shoulder and thigh would have been manageable to swim with if this was a pond and I wasn't on the brink of death.

Was it heartless of me to consider the consequences of my death, of the destruction that will befall the human race should I die, and still chose to not fight? Yes. But I was raised to be a heartless killer.

Was it selfish to just want to finally rest even if I knew everyone would die if I don't fight this and survive? Yes. But I was raised to be a selfish bitch.

Was it possible that the new me wanted to live to protect the people I cared about, that I loved? Yes, but the old me was fighting to stay in control.

I was dead- dying, but still my head raged war as I wanted nothing more than to end this. This battle between Bloodmoon and Wanlida. Both killers, but one cared more than the other.

I wanted to be both of them, I wanted to just be me- Persphyni Atlys Kane.

Keep the nicknames sure, hold them as reminders and memories. But I will die as Persphyni.

Daughter of Kore and Marcus Kane, Protector of the 100, the Soul, Bringer of Death, Bearer of the World, Destroyer of the Mountain, Conquer of the City of Light, the White Wolf, Bloodmoon, Atlys, Wanlida, Shadow, Queen, Songbird, Nameless.

I am all of these. No more feeling like I was trapped fighting other people to control my own thoughts. These identities were one. Now in my death I know that I will always be them and they will always be me. There was never a split, I was always myself. Even when I pretended to play a role, it was always my role.

Now as I'm being pulled further down and losing any sense of thought, I can leave with a smile as I die with one identity.

I was Persphyni Atlys Kane, the girl with many different names.

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"They wouldn't be taken alive."

"No..."

"I am sorry."

"It was a good death."

"No. No. No!"

"No..."

"Oh my- NO!"

"...My daughter..."

_______•*•*•*•_______

"Home, Helios. Take me home."

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