Clarke,
You should be awake by now. Your skin took less than two minutes to begin to heal after I rinsed the remains of the radiation off. I got a little worried though. You had stopped breathing as I brought you downstairs. And let me tell you, I was holding my breath, so maybe subconsciously you were too. Wheels and stairs aren't necessary the best thing— just for future reference. You know, once you wake up.
It's kinda a miracle. The Nightblood solution. It worked. Now I'm not some doctor or scientist, but I know healing wounds almost better than anyone else. And those nasty, yellow, puss-filled scabs are fading to raw wounds. Anyways, that's just my observation. Which you already would've figured before even reading this.
If you haven't figured out why I'm telling you this in writing, than let me quickly explain how this got here. Short answer, I found a pen and piece of paper.
Long answer, the rocket needed to be manually launched. From the lab. The technology was already being affected by the radiation when we tried to blast off. I think they were all in too much shock, they didn't put up much of a fight— well besides Bellamy.
But they made it. All of them. We saved them. I only wish you were up there with them as well.
Shit, I miss being able to talk to someone. You know, when you left I ranted about my Bellamy drama to Raven, Harper, and Monroe. You kinda missed a lot. But I guess now we both are. Since I figure you only came back after you locked the satellite onto the Ring. Thank you for that by the way. I wish I could say it to you in person but, I'm afraid that I'll never really get to say anything else to anyone.
I'm dying.
I know, I know. Technically everyone is, with the whole nothing is guaranteed. But seriously. I can feel it. I'm surprised I hadn't clocked it earlier when we were setting the rocket up.
Radiation.
It's trickling through the vents. The air filters worked for quite some time, but ever since the radiation levels began to spike around the time I arrived, it was able to get around once the filter stopped working.
It feels like this giant weight is pressing on me from above. Sinking into my skin, crawling in my veins. Making me sleepy and in pain all at the same time. It's to the point that I can barely see the letters I'm writing and my left hand has completely stopped working. Thankfully, I'm a righty whose ambidextrous.
Unthankfully, you'll find my corpse at some point. Gruesome I know, but, it's true. Unless you just don't look for it. Which I wouldn't mind. Have to keep the last memory of me beautiful, not all blistery and well—dead.
When you wake up I should be gone. I hate to leave you here passed out but I'd rather you not wake up to a dead person.
I know it makes it seem like I'm taking the piss out of this, but I have to keep myself motivated to write some how.
Don't cry for me. I don't deserve your tears.
Don't yell for me. I don't deserve your breath.
Don't hug me. I don't deserve the embrace.
Don't pray for me. I don't deserve your hopes.
Don't send me off. I don't deserve your goodbye.
Don't mourn for me. I'm already in the next life.
Don't dream for me. I don't deserve happiness.
Don't live for me. I didn't deserve freedom.
Do dream for you. You deserve happiness.
Do live for you. You deserve to be free.
Do pray for you. You deserve your hopes.
The only other thing I ask of you is to look at the stars whenever you can and smile. For you deserve all the joy in the world.
Wanheda was your past.
It's time for you to decide whether or not you grow from all this experiences. Because you are your own person.
If there is one thing I've learned, it's that anything is possible if you truly go for it. If you dig down deep and drive and push and kick and fight with everything you have to achieve this one goal— then one day, when all you've done is work and work and work, one day you will achieve that goal. It doesn't come over night. Nothing but the need to pee comes over night. So find that motivation, find that drive and that passion and go out and live. Do something. Anything. Learn more about yourself, explore who you can be, take time to understand who you really are.
As for me, I'll be watching.
Don't wait for the truth of the matter to settle in. I'm gone and there's nothing you can do about it. Go out and find what you can. I doubt there's much out there, but at least I still have that map. Don't worry, I left it on the table.
Now go find your new adventure. Post-Praimfaya Part 2.
With care,
Your Vent-Mate
Persphyni AK.
P.S. —I ransacked Becca's storage room and found some stuff you can use. My bag is on the floor. Take care of my babies okay. And don't even think of putting on that crown. Like I said before— I'm watching.
________•*•*•*•_______
The blonde sniffled a laugh that turned into a sob as she scanned back over the note hoping it wasn't true. But it was. She could feel it in her stomach.
She could also feel the radiation coming from the air vent. The pressure in the room made the air heavy but due to Clarke's Nightblood, she was doing pretty well.
Pretty well physically. Mentally and emotionally, she was gone.
She had accepted loneliness. Sacrificed herself so Persphyni and the others wouldn't have to. And now look. One of the only people that Clarke can say she truly cares about, is dead while she lives. All because of some scientific experiment.
The blonde began to swell with rage as she turned her eyes towards the lab table her mom had used prior to Praimfaya. Her eyes narrowing as she eyed a syringe of black liquid. The same black liquid that the blonde had self-injected to save Murphy's love life. The same black liquid that now began to run in her veins.
With a steady march, Clarke made it to the syringe and lifted it up. Her fist whitening as she clenched the glass. Nearly breaking it before she stopped suddenly.
Her eyes looking forward up the stairs and towards were she had vaguely remembered passing out. Her eyes on the glass encasing the small office as a gut feeling pulled her towards it.
Her feet slowly walking up the stairs before she froze once again.
"You have got to be kidding me."
YOU ARE READING
Persphyni : I am Destruction
Fanfiction"Then let me die a hero's death." If I could grow up differently, with my mom and dad- I wouldn't. I wouldn't because I don't want to doom someone else to my fate. To my destruction. I had to fight my monsters every damn day and night. I had to liv...
