Funny Comebacks

25: Fml Moments

Chapter 25: Fml Moments

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1) Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

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2) Today, my 3-year old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it
by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness... FML

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3) Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

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4) Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

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5) Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

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6) Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them to not tell them I'm drunk. FML

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7) Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past, he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

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8) Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

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9) Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She woldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

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10) Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

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Thanks for reading!

- Yana x.

STAY BOOTIFUL